1. Wilhelmina Upton

    It’s not easy for me to make friends as an adult, I’m always looking to fin dout how these things work because that’s just how my brain works. In the end, there is no formula though. It mostly just happens. At the moment I would consider some of my colleagues a hybrif between work friends and friends from work. I was really sad when one of them left in the beginning of the year because even though I only knew him for a couple of months, he was a great addition to the team and I was sure we would have bonded closer, had there been more time.

    Through this job, I meet and interact with a lot of people on a daily basis and that’s something I wasn’t sure I’d be comfortable with but like you said, those things change with age, or at least the did for you and me.

    (And then sometimes you meet someone while doing your work and wonder if she’s playing for your team but can’t ask for various reasons.)

    • Finding romantic interests at a job is a whole other can of worms that I have no desire to open for a myriad of reasons. That said, I’ve always been somewhat curious about how workplace romances work in not the US. When I was in the Philippines, people who were dating reported to one another, as did at least husband-wife pairing, whereas that would be a fireable offence/conflict of interest with many US-based companies. Is the US that much more strict than other countries?

      • Wilhelmina Upton

        Ha, I have no real idea how office romance works. I don’t think it’s a fireable offence here but it definitely is a messy thing. I’d say where I work, dating someone from the team wouldn’t be a problem, we hardly have a hierarchy to begin with.
        (In my case it was my governemnt pendent who I was very curious about after I met her for the first time, haha. That is a whole other can of worms though, and it would definitely be messy and problematic. And since she is probably straight, as everyone is, it’s just a hypothetical I liked to indulge myself in for a while.)

      • I’ll tell you how it works. It doesn’t.

        I tried falling in love with a coworker once and it was messy and awful and humiliating. No one should do it. It would have been better to be lonely. *ugh* *so biased*

        • While I was in grad school I tried to date a coworker at the call center I worked for. We both held the same role, so it wasn’t a conflict of interest thing or anything along those lines. It didn’t work out for a few reasons, most notably that her son’s dad was still very much in the picture (their divorce had just been finalized a few months prior). Way too much drama, swore it off.

  2. In response to your footnote–*I* count homeschooling, because otherwise the first 6 years of my education and then 2 in middle school would be nonexistent. And it’s just as shocking a transition as going between schools is.

    Also, you’re not unusual. This is a really common rut to get stuck in. It felt like pulling teeth even in super-relaxed, everyone’s-always-high Portland to get people to hang out and, y’know, actually FORM friendships, and after leaving? I’m lucky Tyler’s military or I’d never meet anyone new.

    • I count most homeschooling in most situations, however I recognize that there are people who don’t. That said, my homeschooling was an absolute joke, and may have actually hurt my educational development fairly significantly.

      I feel like I’d fit in a lot better on the West Coast, particularly in Portland or Seattle. I say this in spite of my general distaste for drugs (I’m not fond of people I know doing them, however I also know that it’s not my choice and that I can only control what I do with my body) and nature (because ew). There’s just something about a place where it’s always cloudy and raining that appeals to me.

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