For those unaware/newer to the blog, I’ll be getting married in the not too distant future. The fiancee and I (though mostly her) have been planning the wedding for just over a year now, and as we get closer to the wedding, most everything looks to be in good shape.
I say that it’s mostly been the fiancee planning the wedding because she understands weddings far better than me. Ignoring the religious side of weddings for purposes of this post((Another rant best saved for another time, I assure you)), there are lots of things I didn’t understand about weddings and wedding related activities prior to being involved in the lead up to my own. I’ve decided to write a post tackling a few of these items today. I’m sure there’s someone out there (likely a male, as am I) who will inevitably stumble across this article wondering why certain things happen along the trail to getting married. Hopefully this will give you good advice, keep you from going insane, or at least cause you to reconsider your own morality.
Registries Are Like Parlay (To Others)
One of the more exciting times that the fiancee and I have experienced thus far in our engagement is that of creating a wedding registry. Through the better part of six hours on a Saturday, we spent time walking around a pair of stores, deciding what items we’d like for people to buy us for our new life together. Since both of us had lived alone in our own apartments for at least the past three years, it was easy for us to limit the registries to things we really need, be that due to not owning said item, or because our particular items were very old.
A significant percentage of people look at a wedding registry and think “Oh, look at all these things that the bride and groom would like that I could buy them. Let me find something in my price range”. But then there are people who look at a wedding registry and say “Yeah, you don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m going off registry because I know best”. The first group is wonderful. The second group is a group that my fiancee is far more accepting of than I am. I’m not exactly sure where the line is that makes people think a registry has no merit, but I bet they’re the same type of people who self-identify as “beer snobs”, “wine connoisseurs”, and “fans of football, or as you call it, soccer”, despite being from the USA.
Wedding Businesses Make Bank
I’m very excited to marry my fiancee. I’ve known that since I proposed to her. What I was never excited for was the prospect of a fancy party for people related to said wedding. I’ve heard the adage that a wedding reception is supposed to be a couple’s first big party to introduce them to society. I’m pretty sure whoever said that has lost far more money and sophistication than I’ll ever have. There were times as the wedding was being planned when I saw prices of certain things and seriously considered suggesting driving to the courthouse and just marrying then. No structured wedding. No reception. It makes more sense financially, psychologically, and I can only assume most other adverbs fit here as well.
You know who would have hated that? My fiancee. I’m pretty sure that’s part of why there are quite a few receipts I never saw.
And that’s fine. Weddings are about the bride((I know there are people out there who will try to argue me about this, but if you’re really honest with yourself for thirty seconds, you’ll recognize that nearly everything wedding related is catered to a bride)). I wasn’t about to say no to something wedding related just because I don’t see the need for something to be at a wedding((Apparently most weddings have DJs. I was not aware of this prior to planning ours, as of the 10 or so weddings I’d been to before I got engaged, a grand total of one had a DJ)). It know it’s our day…but it’s her day. That’s just how weddings work. And because of that, if you have a company that does things for weddings, you can make it rain.
Music Confuses People
This one isn’t serious so much as it amuses me. We’ve had multiple people request that we play Stephen Colbert’s song at our wedding. You know, the one where he dances with the Rockettes.
Apparently a far smaller number of people have heard of Daft Punk than I thought. I kind of want to ask the DJ to play “Charlene” (below) right before just to see how people react.
People Will Say No…And You Will Be Sad
Both the fiancee and I experienced this at various points in the wedding invite/bridal shower/bachelor party/etc process. When you make your list of people you want to come to the wedding, there’s always a group of people you feel obligated to invite (because your family will get mad at you if you don’t), a group you’d like to come though you’d understand if they didn’t, and a group you really, really want there. You don’t go into making your list expecting everyone to come. But there’s always someone that catches you off guard — a family member, a co-worker, a close friend — who can’t come to the wedding for whatever reason. It sticks with you for longer than you thought it would. It’s never a fun moment.
More People Send Gifts Early Than You’d Realize
It was no more than a week after we sent out wedding invitations that a gift off of our registry showed up at our door. My boss’s wife, a lady who I’ve met once for a total of 45 seconds, sent us one of the gifts off our registry. Had it been someone from out of state or someone who wasn’t going to be at the wedding, I would have understood. But coming from someone who lives close and who will be at the wedding, it was a bit unexpected.
Between when the invites were sent out and the fiancee’s bridal shower, I want to say we got somewhere between four and eight more gifts arrive via mail. That’s not even counting a couple of coworkers who have offered to send us gifts, even though they’re not coming to the wedding((Admittedly, I keep forgetting about it until they mention it again. Telling me something during the workday is a good way to have it forgotten.)). I don’t get this phenomenon, and it’s not a bad thing. It’s just unexpected.
I promise another one of these lists after the wedding and honeymoon. I’m sure I’ll have plenty to add at that point.