• Basically parts of the wiper and wiper arm just started flying everywhere. Apparently the motor had burned out and as a result started running at an uncontrollably fast speed as soon as I turned the wipers on. Within a few seconds, the plastic locks holding the wipers on cracked and wiper blade pieces few everywhere. I’m just happy I was still stopped in the parking lot when it happened.

  1. First of all–what kind of cruel joke was your dad pulling, putting a fucking etch-a-sketch in a Gameboy box?? That’s just MEAN.

    Second–I don’t pretend to speak for all women, but I’ve never found a boy beating me at something to be a turnoff. As long as it was a healthy competition (like, I didn’t get totally obliterated) I never minded losing.

    Third–that wreck, bro. WOW. And yeah, forget that girl, what a bitch.

    Fourth–I TOTALLY just moved cross country on 3 days’ notice. Like, in June. It certainly was an undertaking! I’m glad I did it though.

    These are awesome, because your life has been insane. I’m thinking you probably have material for lots more of these.

    • I know, right? He thought it was hilarious, and in retrospect it is kind of funny. But in the moment I was devastated. As for the geography bee thing, I think I felt bad due to a combination of liking the girl (not to mention that she was the first girl I had a crush on), but also the very prevalent preaching in my family that women are the weaker sex and that you should let them win at things. It was a non-issue though.

      Yeah..that wreck was bad. Real bad. I had a very close call about eight months prior to that while travelling in Michigan. That should have been my wake up call, but it wasn’t. I’m happy for my cross country move too for the experience, but the other parts of the move made it a bit rough.

  2. Laidig's Broadway

    I read meniscus tears as tears over your meniscus, and I was going to ask why did you cry over your knee (was it a particularly sad knee) until I read your pain spectrum at the end… I’m only telling you because that kind of misread only happens to me a handful of times a year, and I’m always surprised when it does.

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