Things You Learn Planning/During a Wedding (Part 2)

Four months ago, I wrote a post detailing some of the things my wife and I had learned in the process of planning for our wedding. We’re almost three months past the wedding now, and I realized that I haven’t written a follow up post to that items. There’s certainly a lot more we learned than just the lessons in that first post…most of which likely won’t be all that shocking to people who actually have gone through a wedding.

Rehearsal Quality Is Directly Related To People Quality

Our wedding rehearsal night was legitimately one of the easiest nights of my life. The pastor knew what he was doing, everyone knew how to follow directions, and the process was pretty straight forward regardless. Hell, our wedding was simple enough to follow that one of my people who was doing a reading managed to attend a wedding the night before (during our rehearsal), come right in the day of the wedding with no practice, and not miss a beat. I’ve been to two wedding rehearsals before and both were complete trainwrecks. Looking back, this was usually because someone was incapable of following directions or was trying to control things when they shouldn’t have. Rehearsals aren’t that hard. Don’t make them as such.

People Who Said They’ll Come To The Wedding Won’t

And of course its corollary…

People Who Said They Can’t Come To The Wedding Will Still Try To

This happened to us thanks to members of my extended family changing their minds at the last minute. As a result, we were left with an entire table we had ordered food for that went uneaten. Admittedly, I was pretty pissed off, particularly because said family members had made such a big deal about the fact that they would be at the wedding. They weren’t. And wouldn’t you know that I told a family member who suddenly could come that we didn’t have space for them just the night prior((To be fair to all involved, none of these shenanigans were particularly shocking.)). A friend of mine from college managed to soothe my frustration on the whole thing, explaining to me that it’s apparently something that happens far more than the crazy wedding stories everyone tells((Like people getting drunk and hooking up in bathrooms.)).

Your Wedding Day Won’t Go Fast

My wife will completely disagree with me on this fact, but the reality is that the “fast” movement of a wedding day is an illusion. Prior to the wedding, everything seems like it’s moving in slow motion time-wise. The majority of the wedding party got to the church around two and a half hours before the wedding. The lead up time to the wedding itself felt like an entire day. Then, once the wedding itself started, everything began moving at a normal pace again. I fully believe that’s where the illusion of the wedding and reception going by too fast comes from — not things actually feeling like they’re going by too quick.

People Won’t Gift Like You’d Expect

I was blown away by the generosity that many people showed towards us on our wedding day. There were people who I know don’t have much money to their name that gave us gifts/money that they otherwise couldn’t afford to do. It wasn’t like it was much money at all — but knowing the financial circumstances those people were in, it meant even more that they went out of their way for us. I fully expected more than a handful of people to not even give us anything at all (due to the aforementioned financial issues), however only one couple didn’t get us anything, which stunned us. Now we just have to figure out what the hell to do with all the stuff…

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9 thoughts on “Things You Learn Planning/During a Wedding (Part 2)

  1. Wedding rehearsal was probably the easiest part about our wedding.

    Fortunately we didn’t have any issues with anyone not showing up that was supposed to, or showing up that wasn’t supposed to, but there was some day before drama with a cousin who has effectively been blocked and deleted from all avenues of social media because of her behaviour.

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    1. I feel like I expected our rehearsal to be more chaotic because of the horror stories that I’d heard. That said, most of us know how to follow directions and not be jerks, so it worked out nicely.

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      1. That’s definitely a big part of it. I mean, we totally goofed off a lot, but the actual process was smooth, and no-one got carried away or ignored directions.

        Honestly, the most stressful part of our rehearsal was that the flooring in the church was a little delayed (they renovated the entire church just before our wedding; we had actually pushed the date back a month to give them more time), and so at 11am on rehearsal day I was told they were still finishing it.

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        1. That’s not to say we didn’t goof off. I wore a luchador mask during part of the rehearsal, while my groomspeople wore silly hats of various varieties. But our listening skills were on point, so we got done in under a half hour.

          I legitimately think it took my brother-in-law longer to set up the Chipotle catering we ordered for rehearsal dinner than it did for us to complete the actual rehearsal itself. That said, he set up almost by himself, so he was at a disadvantage.

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  2. I feel like the only thing I really learned during the whole process is that people are crazy, no one agrees on anything, and in general weddings are overrated 🙂 But maybe I’m just a pessimism.

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    1. Admittedly, I’m not a huge fan of the concept of weddings either. There is far too much religion associated with (most) weddings for me to find them enjoyable. Not to mention the fact that they’re typically long ordeals that involve lots of sitting and dancing — neither of which I’m particularly keen on. I enjoyed ours as much as I could for a wedding though.

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      1. As a religious person (comparatively), that part is quite nice to me usually. It’s the general expectation of perfection and grandiosity, along with squabbling that planning & carrying out a huge ceremony too often brings. They can be nice- and I certainly am glad you enjoyed yours! It’s just a difficult process all around IMO. In our culture the wedding seems to be cared for and planned for way more than the marriage, and that seems wrong somehow…

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        1. Weddings and receptions in American culture are meant to be parties for people attending rather than an event for the bride/groom. That bothers me a bit.

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