Tuesday, October 20th will mark the one year anniversary of TTW. January of 2016 marks the 11((!)) year anniversary of me blogging. I should really be excited.
I’ve debated shutting down this blog — not to mention completely quitting blogging — for a couple of months now. It’s for a confluence of reasons really.
Readership of my blog has plummeted, both when considering this blog in comparison to my old one and just when considering this blog by itself. Since March of this year, my blog has averaged decreasing in visitors by 5% each month with a similar drop in traffic. This is in spite of a slight (3%) growth traffic from random Google search hits over that same time. People just aren’t caring what I have to say anymore.
To be fair, I’m not sure that I have anything to say anymore. I enjoy my job((At times.)), but it is the most emotionally and psychologically draining company I’ve been at since I was in grad school. The current position I’m in amplifies those feelings even more, especially when considering that I’ve gone 18 months as the only person in my department. I haven’t cared to write consistently since the end of February of this year, or cared at all since mid-July.
I write best in silence…sort of. I can be around other people when I write((I always wrote my grad school papers while at Panera at 7 in the morning.)), but they can’t be people I know. Human interaction is a severe distraction for me when writing, regardless of who it’s from. Throw in the fact that I’ve had a grand total of one weekend since the wedding where I’ve had absolutely nothing to do((My wife has had zero such weekends.)) — a fact that is driving me insane — and I just don’t care to write anymore.
I’ve tried using prompt posts to help me think of ideas. They help sometimes. It’s never for long. I’ve tried reaching out to those who were my best writerly muses in the past, but they’ve all become distant, inconsistent at communication, or both. I’ll ask people on Twitter for ideas, but that rarely nets inspiration. I’m constantly stressed and my head feels cloudy. It’s a saddening reality.
You’d think the prospect of my book coming out would keep me motivated, but I haven’t had a meaningful update from my publisher in months. You’d think reading bloggers I love would help, but many of them have either stopped blogging, changed to topics I don’t care to read about, or become so radical on their opinions that it’s hard to take them seriously. You’d think I could find inspiration in the news, but that’s just as depressing, if not more so, than my very cloudy and tired head.
I’ll keep this blog up for a while. After all, I paid for the year of hosting and I’d still like some platform to market my book on when it does release. That said, I may go quiet for a while. It’s all I can really think of to do at this point.