1. While I don’t work that much with creative content, the last two paragraphs are basically my life right now just different topics. But yeah. Definitely feeling the same general confusion & need to focus.

    • AbsentElemental

      Looking back at the paragraphs in question (which I admittedly wrote while not being able to sleep), I think they definitely speak to something more than a creative content focused individual. I think they can apply to a lot of different areas in life (even in my own).

  2. Here’s the thing. 1. You have a legitimate, grown-up job, a wife, and like you said–adult responsibilities. 2. An often un-addressed part of people’s success is pure, stupid luck and/or just being outgoing enough to approach the right people. 3. Everyone finds their “thing” at different times in their lives, assuming they even have one strong “thing” that is the most important to them.

    What I’m trying to say is, take heart. You aren’t even 30 and you’re already working a professional job, you’re married to someone who says “butter pants” which means she must be awesome, you’ve published your first book, and you’re on the world’s greatest podcast with yours truly. You’ve reached a level of success that other people are looking at with jealous eyes. And those people you admire? They in turn have people THEY are jealous of, and so on.

    I mean if you ever forget about the success/jealousy chain, just remember that Ariana Grande is freaking 23 years old, and Malala Yousafzai is 19. There’s always someone who accomplished more at a younger age.

    Maybe your next job will be one that leaves you more time to work on your creative projects. Maybe that’s even something worth seriously considering next time you’re in the job market, if it’s important to you. I strongly believe our society (I could go on a rant about capitalism, but I won’t) devalues creative pursuits, so we have to insist to ourselves that they are important if we want to give them the focus they need. Maybe this is worth doing for yourself as you ponder your direction.

    All that to say, I am sorry you’re feeling down and I hope your spirits perk back up, because I love seeing the stuff you create. <3

    • AbsentElemental

      I’m definitely of the belief that whatever the next job I look for is — be that with my current company or otherwise — it’s going to need to be something that plays to my desire to be creative and to make a significant positive impact on people. I realize that’s pretty hard with most companies, however I’m sure there’s some out there that would allow that capability. Hell, if Crash Course were hiring, I’d be doing my best to convince my wife we need to move right now lol. That said, I’d still love to be able to completely have creative control of whatever I’m doing. Unless I’m self employed, that’s not a realistic possibility.

  3. I feel you. I was planning on creating a similar post in the next few weeks. It’s easy to get drawn into other people’s success and forget your own, probably because we measure our success against everyone else (even though we don’t like to admit it). I guess the only thing I’d say is to work out the direction you need to take, maybe you need to explore several avenues, even if it steals your sleepy times. I said this on another blog: invent time if you have to. But know that you’re not the only one 🙂

    For me, I’m in this really weird space where I have to be very careful on how I make my next move, career or hobby, because the knock on effect, positive or negative, will be huge. I lost so much time to circumstances outwith my control, and I have to keep righting myself from thinking “maybe it’s karma”. But, while I’m trying so hard to focus on me and where I want to go, it’s difficult to watch how easy other people have it in the career I’m pursuing. It is what it is, and what it is stinks.

    • AbsentElemental

      I’m always hesitant to make big career moves for the same reason you said — the impact can (and often will) be huge. I’ve tried for the longest time to make sure that I don’t put myself in the same position that my family was in when I was growing up. That’s a lot of pressure to put myself under, but it keeps me from completely dedicating myself to large projects that I’d totally do if I had the time or money.

      I admittedly haven’t seen your work, so I cannot speak to your exact problems or the struggles you’re facing. With that said, I’ve found that one of the things that has helped me the most in my career is always making an effort to help out others whenever and wherever I can. It’s impacted my own work negatively at times, however I’ve found that it’s allowed me to expand my skill set to become a more well-rounded individual.

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