Nine Pokemon Top Ten Lists Sure to Anger the Internet

People have opinions about Pokemon. If you agree with those opinions, that’s awesome. If you don’t agree with them, you are wrong. That’s it. The internet has spoken.

But what if I told you that people are allowed to have different opinions about video games?

No? Really? Alright then.

As my first back from my hiatus — a break which I’ll talk about in a coming post — I wanted to give a number of top ten lists for Pokemon. Please note that all of these lists are my opinion. Feel free to tell me how I’m wrong down in the comments. Also, be aware that my lists are in no particular order, as developing a coherent and logical order requires thought. I’ll save that for another day.

10 Non-Gen I Pokemon Needing Stat Buffs in Future Games

  1. Qwilfish
  2. Masquerain
  3. Delcatty
  4. Whiscash
  5. Pachirisu
  6. Zebstrika
  7. Archeops
  8. Mandibuzz
  9. Primarina
  10. Comfey

Every Pokemon on this list falls into one of three categories. They’re either okay but not good Pokemon (Primarina, Mandibuzz, Comfey), they had a very niche usage but their stats hold them back (Qwilfish, Pachirisu, Archeops), or they’re a Pokemon overshadowed by a later gen Pokemon that just does their job better. Giving each of these Pokemon even a 10 point boost in some way could be of massive help to them competitively. I’d love to have a slightly bulkier Comfey, a slightly faster Archeops, or a Delcatty that hits just a little harder.

10* Pokemon In Need of an Evolution (and Proposed Names)

  1. Dodrio (Dodquad)
  2. Starmie (Staruss)
  3. Furret (Cuddlet)
  4. Breloom (Breldoom)
  5. Swalot (Yurmom)
  6. Cherrim (Cherrim-White & Cherrim-Black)
  7. Simisage/Simisear/Simipour (Demisage/sear/pour)
  8. Klefki (Yanitore)
  9. Minior (Comlet?)
  10. Polteageist (Microwaviea)

Yes, I’m counting this as 10 despite grouping the elemental monkeys into one entry. All of the Pokemon on this list — with the possible exception of Starmie — are essentially afterthoughts at this point. Yes, even the ones from recent games. So how do we make them better? Like we saw with Linoone and Farfetch’d in Galar, as well as with several Pokemon in Gen IV, an evolution can do wonders for a Pokemon. Personally, I most want evolutions to Dodrio and Furret of those off this list, but as long as we get a microwave based evolution to Polteageist to make the Brits angsty, I’m okay with it.

10 Most Overrated Pokemon Designs

  1. Haxorus
  2. Golem (Alolan)
  3. Typhlosion
  4. Dunsparce
  5. Exploud
  6. Aggron
  7. Ambipom
  8. Gallade
  9. Virizion
  10. Lycanroc (Dusk Forme)

Please note that overrated in this case doesn’t mean competitively or in terms of how much I dislike a Pokemon. Charizard would be on this list if either of those were true. That said, I tried to pick a mix of Pokemon that are generally well liked for their designs that just aren’t that good (in my opinion). As you might be able to tell, if you’re trying way too hard to be edgy or pointy, I’m really not a fan. Special shoutout to the inevitable dudebro in my mentions pissed off that I don’t think Haxorus is the greatest Pokemon ever made.

10 Pokemon That Pokemon Fans Have Made Me Like Less

  1. Charizard
  2. Pikachu
  3. Lugia
  4. Luxray
  5. Garchomp
  6. Amoongus
  7. Haxorus
  8. Noivern
  9. Necrozma
  10. Obstagoon

This is really a mix of Poketubers, playing competitively, and just reading other stuff about Pokemon online driving this list. I feel like I would like most of these Pokemon more than I otherwise do in many cases. But there’s just some annoying driver behind their popularity — be it in battle, with fans, with Game Freak, or with edgelords — that just turns me off to most of these mons. I’ll still use them in battle if the situation calls for it, but they’ll never be my first choice.

My 10 Favorite Single Type Pokemon

  1. Blastoise
  2. Vulpix
  3. Shellder
  4. Hitmonchan
  5. Sudowoodo
  6. Umbreon
  7. Delcatty
  8. Mismagius
  9. Glaceon
  10. Tsareena

All this list forced me to do is to deal with the fact that nearly all of the Pokemon I really love are dual types. Sure, Vulpix, Shellder, and Delcatty are likely in my top 10 Pokemon ever. Hitmonchan and Blastoise wouldn’t be far behind for nostalgia purposes. But the rest really required some thought. In the end, it was down to Umbreon versus Comfey for the final spot, but since I’m going to talk about Comfey more later, I took Umbreon.

10 Pokemon that Pokemon Go Has Driven Me to Like Less

  1. Rhyhorn
  2. Blissey
  3. Smeargle
  4. Yanma
  5. Sunkern
  6. Spinda
  7. Anorith
  8. Deoxys
  9. Skuntank
  10. Gible

This is by far the last I had to do the most cutting on, so let me say this. Niantic did Gen II dirty. Between Sunkern’s horrid catch rate for being tiny, to all the issues with Smeargle’s release, to whatever the fuck Yanma is doing, to WHY IS EVERYTHING IN GYMS BLISSEY, I really started liking Pokemon Go less as a result of things during Gen II (and III)’s releases. I’ve functionally stopped playing the game at this point aside from transferring out Pokemon to Home. For a game that brought people a ton of happiness out of the gate, Niantic has monetized it into the ground for many players.

10 Pokemon I’d Pick If I Could Only Use Those 10 Ever Again

  1. Hitmonchan
  2. Lapras
  3. Zapdos (Kanto)
  4. Scizor
  5. Delcatty
  6. Honchkrow
  7. Leavanny
  8. Chandelure
  9. Toxapex
  10. Palossand

Let’s talk about the notable omission right away — I left my favorite Pokemon ever, Articuno, at home and replaced it on this list with Zapdos. Why? As I’ve historically used both competitively, both Pokemon fill nearly the exact same role for me (support). And if I’m going to use a support Pokemon of those two, I’d take Zapdos 10 times out of 10. As for the others, it’s mostly a mix of Pokemon I’ve used heavily online in singles or doubles with a bit of a slant to Pokemon I really like.

10 Pokemon I’ve Grown to Like More Thanks To Competitive Battling

  1. Raichu
  2. Muk (Alolan)
  3. Seaking
  4. Noctowl
  5. Sableye
  6. Dusclops
  7. Milotic
  8. Accelgor
  9. Comfey
  10. Centiscorch

Oh look. It’s a combination of support Pokemon that have saved my ass in battles over time — plus Milotic and Centiscorch. Let me tell you right now, even in the current VGC metagame, Comfey and Sableye have to be respected, if only because they fill their niches so damn well. Side note, I miss having Alolan Muk’s Power of Alchemy ability in the games. That was such a good ability.

10 Pokemon I Wish People Liked More

  1. Fearow
  2. Parasect
  3. Ariados
  4. Magcargo
  5. Quagsire
  6. Cacturne
  7. Leavanny
  8. Delphox
  9. Crabominable
  10. Oricorio

Oh look. It’s my island of misfit Pokemon that nearly everyone dislikes but that I adore…plus Quagsire, who is loved, but deserves more love. It’s a suitable finale to this post, as it’s the list that inspired the post as a whole. I wanted to write this list, but I didn’t have any good way to stretch it out to 500+ words. Thus, here we are, 1000+ words later with a post full of lists. You’re welcome?

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