The following post is part of my series “The Worst Fire Emblem Awakening Playthrough Ever”. Spoilers ahead for a six year old game.
Welcome back to the worst Fire Emblem Awakening play through ever. When we last left the Shepherds, we played through the most emotionally draining chapter of a video game this side of a UGF Pandas bowl game. In light of important storyline people dying, I’ve decided to take a break from the main story to play through two of the paralogue chapters. We’ll be playing paralogues 1 and 2, which range from terribly annoying (in the case of paralogue 1) to mind numbingly easy (in the case of paralogue 2).The goal here will primarily be to level units and supports, so I won’t be taking in most of my higher level units unless it’s for support building.
Paralogue 1: Sickle to Sword
Our chapter starts with Chrom being confronted by a young Pastafarian named Donnel. He’s begging for help to save his village, I think, though it’s hard to tell because he talks like Boomhauer. A brigand shows up and starts mocking Donnel, only to realize that Chrom is here and turns tail. Donnel introduces himself and explains that explains that his village has been attacked by bandits. He begs Chrom to save his mother and the rest of the village. Chrom, being noble but dumb, agrees.
We then shift focus to the brigand camp where their leader, Roddick, is receiving a warning from the aforementioned brigand who ran away from Chrom. Roddick hatches a plan to kidnap Chrom and ransom him, completely oblivious to Chrom’s plot armor. Roddick threatens Donnel’s mom who we never hear from again after this chapter.
Donnel, Chrom, and the Shepherds come up on the village under the cover of night. Chrom tells Donnel he should fight to grow stronger, which means we’re going to need someone(s) to drag him along through this level to be able to recruit him. Normally this would be a situation where Virion would come in handy, but he’s buried under Arena Ferox. So we’ll have to make due with Tharja and Christopher Robin as our ranged units, along with underleveled units like Stahl and Gaius. Chrom says more words, but none of them are important.
On the first turn, we use Gaius and Tharja to wear down a warrior before Donnel (paired up with Sully) gets the easy kill. Cordelia also picks up a kill, but most of this turn is spent getting units paired to set up for the next couple turns, as this will be slow going. Cordelia serves as our bait unit on turn two, but she does her job a little too well, getting a critical hit kill on the unit she baited out. Turn three results in even more good luck of the bad variety, with Gaius and Tharja getting a pair up kill, along with Stahl and his 5% critical hit chance critting a unit. Then on the enemy phase, Gaius gets BACK-TO-BACK critical unit kills because reasons. Fortunately, this issue doesn’t resurface on turn four, allowing Donnel to get another easy cleanup kill following Gaius tanking damage. Cordelia and Libra are running around picking up item spaces for support points while an enemy thief is trying to run away with a Killer Lance that I’ll totally be stealing from them. Donnel finally gets his level up on the enemy phase of turn five, taking his first damage in the process.
As we go into the second half of the map, Tharja and Gaius continue killing everything in their path, managing to pin an archer into a corner in the process, giving Donnel an easy kill. Cordelia and Libra team up with Christopher and Stahl to sweep the rest of the map. Chrom was also there because he has to be.
We end the level with Donnel excited that the bandits are defeated. Chrom congratulates him then Donnel announces his mother that he’s off to be all that he can be in the army. Chrom accepts the offer, realizing that Donnel will one day grow into a beautiful butterfly, capable of passing down massive growth rates to a child.
Paralogue 2: Sickle to Sword
Before this chapter, I did two rounds of reeking box battles so Donnel could hold his own here. Hence bringing him. That said, he’s still woefully underleveled and it almost went very badly.
At the start of the level, a random merchant is treating a soldier when Chrom and company wander upon him. It appears bandits are attacking Ylissean refugees fleeting to Ferox, as well as merchants travelling the road. Frederick insists that the honor of capitalism must be protected at all costs, lest people starve. Chrom agrees and we’re off to pick our units.
After selecting units, we’re greeted by twins. Their names are Vincent and Victor and I’m not sure if they’re actual twins or the adult film kind of twins, because they’re calling each other darling. Vincent and Victor are intent on pillaging the village. Vincent runs off so that Victor can command the bandit horde in their saking of the hamlet. Said hamlet is protected by an allied unit named Anna who appears to be a promoted unit. That can’t be good for the bandits.
I’ve brought a lot of fliers to this level for sake of leveling up, and we immediately get to work on that, with quick first turn kills coming from Cordelia and Maribelle. That said, my foolish ass had Donnel bum rush a unit, not quite getting the kill, and nearly died on the follow up turn. That’s enough of that for one day. Turns two through four mostly involved Sumia, Tharja, and Maribelle killing everyone at the top and right of the map that Anna doesn’t, however I lost internet and was waiting on my computer to reboot, so I didn’t take notes like a fool.
But turn five, Chrom finally makes his way up to Anna, mistakenly asking if she’s hurt before realizing (per his dialogue) that Anna is fine. In reality, Anna is living on 8 out of 35 HP, so she’s definitely not in the best shape. Chrom offers his assistance, which Anna accepts. Maribelle visits our concerned villagers, where they give her a Physic wand to heal Anna. This would have worked much better before Maribelle reclassed. Once we’re down to nothing but enemy units on the most southern area of the map, Victor and friends start to advance, only to meet the pointy end of Cordelia’s lance and Libra’s axe. My wife recently came to me after flipping through the Awakening artbook and asked why so many of the female units looked whorish. For examples, she used Aversa — which, yeah, I get that one — and Cordelia. The most virtuous female character in the game (arguably) — Cordelia. I laughed. A lot. I also let her get the final kill here out of principle.
Our anonymous merchant thanks Chrom and company, while Anna also passes along her thanks. She refers to herself as the Secret Seller and promises to give Chrom a discount the next time they meet, ending our chapter.
Endof Level Recap
There was a bit more leveling up in these two chapters than I expected. Add in the couple of reeking box levels for Donnel — as well as the collateral experience other units gained — and the squad as a whole is in a good place for chapter 10 when we get back to the main story.
- Vaike – Level 14 Fighter
- Ricken – Level 13 Mage
- Sumia – Level 13 Pegasus Knight
- Cordelia – Level 12 Pegasus Knight
- Miriel – Level 11 Mage
- Panne – Level 11 Taguel
- Chrom – Level 11 Lord
- Tharja – Level 11 Dark Mage
- Sully – Level 11 Cavalier
- Gregor – Level 10 Mercenary
- Gaius – Level 10 Thief
- Nowi – Level 9 Manakete
- Kellam – Level 9 Knight
- Christopher – Level 8 Tactician
- Lon’qu – Level 6 Myrmidon
- Maribelle – Level 6 Pegasus Knight
- Stahl – Level 6 Cavalier
- Lissa – Level 5 Pegasus Knight
- Frederick – Level 4 Great Knight
- Donnel – Level 4 Villager
- Libra – Level 1 War Monk
- Virion – Level 2 Pin Cushion
- Tharja & Gaius: None to C to B to A
- Stahl & Christopher: None to C
- Cordelia & Libra: C to B to A
- Cordelia & Gaius: None to C
- Sully & Donnel: None to C
- None this chapter.