Category: Video Games

The Worst Fire Emblem Awakening Play Through Ever: Chapters 10 and 11

Posted on by TimLeave a Comment on The Worst Fire Emblem Awakening Play Through Ever: Chapters 10 and 11

The following post is part of my series “The Worst Fire Emblem Awakening Playthrough Ever”. Spoilers ahead for a six year old game.

NOTE: This will likely be the last edition of this I do for a couple of months, as I need to clear out a backlog of other posts on my schedule. The series will resume at some point in the near future (November? December?)

Welcome back to the worst Fire Emblem Awakening play through ever. When we last left the Shepherds, I took the time to do a couple of paralogues as a breather from the main story. We gained an underleveled farmhand as part of our team, as well as having met the walking symbol of Ylissean capitalism. We’re headed back to the main story where we get to play one of the best written chapters in all of Fire Emblem1Fight me, pre-DS Fire Emblem purists., as well as one of the most annoying chapters in the game for reasons I’ll get into as we go.

Chapter 10: Renewal

We bring the chapter by seeing Basilio leading our intrepid heroes through a giant ribcage, which isn’t ominous or anything. Chrom is incapable for forming sentences, which is annoying, especially since we’re ambushed by the Plegian army. And that’s it. That’s the entire cut scene before selecting units.

After selecting our units, we’re introduced to the boss for this level, a Plegian general named Mustafa — not Mufasa as I originally read it on my first playthrough. He offers us mercy if we surrender, which Basilio immediately scoffs at. Mustafa says Emmeryn wouldn’t have wanted this bloodshed, further proving that the bad guys in this game sometimes make more sense than the protagonists. Chrom gets angsty because his sister is dead, but then Mustafa admits that Emmeryn’s sacrifice profoundly impacted him and many other Plegians. Mustafa then offers to protect Chrom and our army if we surrender, only for the normally calm Frederick to shoot down the offer. Mustafa resigns to having to fight, beginning our actual fight.

This level is one of the stranger level layouts in the game, basically looking like a series of groceries store aisles full of enemies. I decide to take Chrom, Sumia, Maribelle, Frederick, and Vaike up the right side of the map to clear out the aisles, while everyone else (Cordelia, Libra, Donnel, Tharja, Gaius, Sully, Nowi, and Kellam) go down the bottom of the map to help draw out some of the aisle dwellers. Maribelle, Sumia, and Tharja take out units on the first turn, but we’re largely too far away to do much.

Between turns, Mustafa gets upset that there are thieves stealing stuff from the battlefield. He wants to give justice to the theives, but instead says his army needs to focus on the Ylissean army. The enemies advance, but can’t do much. On turn two, we take out quite a few of the advancing units, though Donnel takes more damage than I’d like.

On the enemy phase, one of the Plegian soldiers makes a case to Mustafa to stop this battle because he doesn’t see the justice in fighting the Ylisseans — going so far as to accept any punishment Mustafa has for him. A second soldier starts screaming at the first one, saying he’ll be killed for insubordination, but Mustafa calms the first soldier by telling him that a soldier is there to deliver judgement not to judge. He empathizes with the soldier, who was there when Emmeryn gave her last words. Mustafa then tells his soldiers that any soldiers who aren’t willing to fight are free to leave, but that he will fight on because he must obey the king’s orders, as Gangrel would murder his wife and kid if he ran. Mustafa’s soliders stay to fight with him because they wish to be loyal to him, serving as a reminder that in times of war, people can do the wrong thing for the right reasons2Holy fuck this chapter hits me hard every time..

Turn three begins and I start sweeping through the enemy units in earnest with Sumia, Maribelle, Cordelia, Sully, and Gaius picking up kills. Mustafa shouts for the reinforcements to be called in, but this battle isn’t going to last long enough for that to happen. Chrom, Maribelle, and Cordelia get our only kills of the player portion of turn four, but the enemy turn goes much better, with Tharja racking up three kills by herself. Frederick begins turn five by engaging with Mustafa by himself, though he doesn’t quite get the kill. Fortunately, Libra is there to pick up the pieces, ending the level as Mustafa pleas for us to spare his men.

Suddenly, an allied unit teleports in. Her name is Olivia and not only does she seem to know Basilio, but she apparently can fucking teleport. Olivia is apparently a smuggler, making her the Han Solo of this game, only significantly more annoying. Olivia insists we get on our way, formally ending the chapter.

Just kidding. It was just a save screen. We’re in Castle Ferox where Lissa is sobbing while Christopher Robin and Frederick are lamenting our failure. Flavia and Basilio are bickering about what to do next. Christopher apologies to Chrom that his plans couldn’t save his sister, and Chrom…thanks him for trying?

Wait. Hold up. Chrom is portrayed as a hothead for most of the last two chapters and yet he doesn’t feel like Christopher has ANY responsibility for Emmeryn’s death? This isn’t consistent with his character at all.

Chrom then starts saying how it’s all his fault, which is more consistent with his character. There’s a lot of talk about sacrifice from Chrom before Christopher gives a buddy cop version of the halftime speech trope. This is followed by pretty much every recruited character telling Chrom how they wouldn’t be there if it weren’t for Chrom — except for Virion, who spends most of his dialogue talking about himself before I reach through the screen and hit him with a shovel. Chrom then asks everyone to help him take down Gangrel, which is met with Lissa wanting to punch people in the face. We get yet another line of people saying they’ll fight, including Flavia promising to give the backing of the Feroxi army. Olivia — who is also here still, apparently — pledges her support because Emmeryn did her a favor once. Because of course she did. It’s plot convenient. Basilio encourages Chrom to start cracking skulls and raise hell. This FINALLY marks the end of the chapter.

Between chapters, I’ve reclassed Panne from a Taguel to a Thief. She’ll be the recipient of some grinding at some point after chapter 11.

Chapter 11: Mad King Gangrel

Before this chapter, I did a couple of rounds of reeking box battles so Donnel could hold his own here. Hence bringing him. That said, he’s still woefully underleveled and it almost went very badly.

We being with Aversa and Gangrel overlooking the battlefield discussing the fact that the Shepherds are on their way. Gangrel makes a fart joke3Seriously., which Aversa promptly makes fun of. Gangrel talks about how a man is either strong or dead in this world, which will in no way foreshadow anything. A Plegian scout runs up to advise Gangrel and Aversa that their army is deserting them.

We cut away to Frederick, who is bringing news of the desertions to Chrom and Christopher. Chrom is confused before a few lines before realizing that it’s all because of his sister’s sacrifice. Apparently she’s become a Plegian folk hero according to Frederick. This caused me to look up whether or not a folk hero could be a famous person and apparently it can. Who knew? Chrom laments for a bit about Emmeryn’s passing, but my ice cream sandwich is melting, so I ignore him in favor of eating that.

After choosing units, we cut to a talking head of Chrom and Gangrel shouting at each other from across the entire battlefield map. Gangrel tells Chrom he doesn’t know the first thing about peace — and he kind of has a point. Granted, Gangrel doesn’t either, but Chrom REALLY hasn’t grown that much across the last few chapters. But then suddenly, just to prove me wrong, Chrom admits he has flaws, but he’s trying. He goes on for a bit about the Power of Friendship before Gangrel tells him to shut up and fight. We’re then joined by Olivia, who is a dancer. Dancers allow you to use the Dance command to make another unit have a second turn. The downside to this is that Olivia is as frail as Miriel was back in Chapter 2, so we really won’t be able to use her if we want her to live.

On turn one, we’re out of range to attack (or mostly to be attacked, so it’s spent pairing up and advancing most of our pairings forward — save for Nowi and Kellam who will be hanging back for the inevitable reinforcements that will show up in the forts to the upper left of the map. Some of Gangrel’s troops move forward, but nothing interesting happens on their turn. Frederick and Ricken open up turn two with some kills, with Ricken picking up an additional one on the enemy phase. Stahl takes a good bit of damage on turn 3, but most of the turn is spent with Sumia, Christopher, Frederick, and Ricken taking more of Gangrel’s units out. On the enemy phase, Stahl probably shoiuld have died, but two different mages with 85%+ hit rates both miss. You might be surprised to learn this trend continues on turn 4, only with Sumia, and only slightly more explainable, as she’s in a fort. That said, it’s four straight misses in her case. I can’t even make this up, because it would seem too unrealistic if I made that up.

The reinforcements finally come on turn 5, but Nowi deals with them easily. Panne’s new Locktouch ability comes in handy to pick up a Goddess Icon from a chest. By turn 6, Gangrel comes charging out of his protector fort — because remember, he’s insane. We let a bunch of other units take out everyone around Gangrel (well, most of them at this stage), but then have Lissa — who has been Christopher’s pair up buddy to this point — fight Gangrel, because she’s a much better story for avenging her sister’s death than Chrom. She doesn’t get the kill, but is low on health. Then, for reasons I don’t fucking understand at all, Gangrel decides to attack Sully WHO CRITICAL HITS THE FUCK OUT OF HIM. He really was a mad lad.

Turn 7 is just some cleanup, leading us to beat the map. The rest of the Plegian army surrenders once we take out the last unit. Chrom accepts their surrender because he’s learning and it’s adorable.

We cut to a discussion between Flavia, Basilio, Chrom, and Christopher talking about the end of the war with Plegia and the coming rebuild of Ylisse and Regna Ferox. A new cinematic plays talking about how Chrom and Christopher are working tirelessly to restore Ylisse’s glory. Chrom has decided not to take up the title of Exalt, but he does marry. There’s a royal wedding between he and Sumia, only for us to get an omnious line.

But then, two years later…

We save the game!

Also, there’s a messenger from Regna Ferox come to see Chrom. It’s Raimi — the Feroxi knight who we had to fight back in chapter 4. Flavia has requested a summit between Ylisse and Regna Ferox because the Fire Nation attacked. Er…the western nation of Valm attacked. Frederick and Chrom agree to meet with Flavia, but are stopped by Sumia. Sumia says she’s coming with Chrom, despite the fact that her and Chrom’s daughter, Lucina, is newly born. Chrom wants Sumia to take advantage of Ylisse’s generous mandatory maternity leave laws, but Sumia insists she needs to come to the summit. Chrom and Christopher talk about Chrom’s growth as a person, but I’m going to ignore that and post my favorite meme related to this scene.

We cut to Arena Ferox for Flavia’s summit. She advises us that Valm is, indeed, attacking with warships. Basilio greets us like Broken Matt Hardy only to say he knows someone who can tell us why Valm is attacking. It’s Virion, who’s not quite dead yet despite my best efforts. Apparently he’s been lying to us the whole time — he’s not just an asshole archer, he’s the Duke of Rosanne AND an asshole archer. We should really keep the Ambien away from him. Virion’s servant, Cherche, is also here. She’s not only more likeable than Virion by an infinite amount, but she also info dumps why Valm is attacking, as well as the fact that they attacked Virion’s country first. Apparently Virion is the rightful ruler of Rosanne, however I would never subject Sara Gilbert to that. Our new big bad that we’re going to need to worry about is Walhart the Conqueror and if his Smash Ultimate fight is any indication, he’ll likely be a bitch to kill.

Cherche gets some verbal slaps to Virion in here as well, but he keeps interrupting her. That said, Cherche has zero time for that, as she’s not only trying to seek aslyum, but she’s also very willing to kick Valm’s ass. Virion tells us that we’ll want to fight the Valmese army with units that have experience fighting against cavalry, but little does he know that we have a limited roster of characters to choose from, not to mention some more shipping to do. Chrom offers to volunteer Virion to fight the Valmese army himself, which not only formally ends the chapter, but also causes me to respect Chrom slightly more.

End of Level Recap

There was a bit more leveling up in these two chapters than I expected. Add in the couple of reeking box levels for Donnel — as well as the collateral experience other units gained — and the squad as a whole is in a good place for chapter 10 when we get back to the main story.

Units

  • Sumia – Level 17 Pegasus Knight
  • Sully – Level 15 Cavalier
  • Ricken – Level 15 Mage
  • Vaike – Level 14 Fighter
  • Cordelia – Level 14 Pegasus Knight
  • Tharja – Level 14 Dark Mage
  • Chrom – Level 12 Lord
  • Miriel – Level 12 Mage
  • Gaius – Level 12 Thief
  • Nowi – Level 11 Manakete
  • Kellam – Level 11 Knight
  • Gregor – Level 10 Mercenary
  • Christopher – Level 9 Tactician
  • Donnel – Level 8 Villager
  • Stahl – Level 7 Cavalier
  • Maribelle – Level 7 Pegasus Knight
  • Lon’qu – Level 7 Myrmidon
  • Lissa – Level 6 Pegasus Knight
  • Frederick – Level 5 Great Knight
  • Panne – Level 4 Thief
  • Libra – Level 1 War Monk
  • Olivia – Level 1 Dancer
  • Virion – Level 2 Pin Cushion

Supports

  • Tharja & Gaius: A to S
  • Cordelia & Libra: A to S
  • Kellam & Nowi: B to A
  • Sully & Donnel: C to B

Class Changes

  • Panne: Taguel to Thief

I’ll be doing some reeking box grinding before chapter 12 for reasons I’ll get into on that post. Hope you’re enjoying this series and would love to hear what you think in the comments.

My Pokemon Gym: Bug

Posted on by TimLeave a Comment on My Pokemon Gym: Bug

Welcome to the seventh iteration of the My Pokemon Gym series. If you’re new to this series, I take a Pokemon type then build out my team of six Pokemon of that type as if I were the gym leader. Here are the rules:

  1. I can’t use legendary/mythical Pokemon
  2. I can’t reuse Pokemon I’ve used in previous gyms in this series.
  3. Forms of the same Pokémon can be reused, provided they have different typing. For example, if I used Rattata in a Normal gym team, I could use Alolan Rattata in a Dark gym team.

Want to read my other My Pokemon Gym posts? Go read the Fighting, Ice, Psychic, Grass, Dragon, and Fairy type posts when you’re done here. All images courtesy pokemondb.net unless otherwise stated.

Galvantula

It actively pained me not to put Galvantula on my coming Electric type gym team. That said, what Pokemon is more associated with Sticky Web as a lead than Galvantula? Maybe Shuckle if you’re having it as a pawn that gets taken down to Sturdy, but that’s not the best use of Shuckle (in my opinion). Galvantula has some surprisingly hard hitting attacks, never mind my active decision to swap out the momentum building U-Turn in favor of Lunge. The primary goal is still to get Sticky Web up, however, if I can do some serious damage along the way, all the better.

Ability: Unnerve
Item: Focus Sash
Moves: Sticky Web, Sucker Punch, Lunge, Wild Charge

Butterfree

A while back, I did a playthrough of Pokemon Sun where I beat 3/4 of the Elite Four with an Eviolite Caterpie. Granted, that Caterpie had a metric fuckton of boosts passed to it by Drifblim/Hawlucha/Mega Lopunny/Espeon, but it still did its job. This Butterfree is an homage to that — though with a King’s Rock instead because it can’t get Eviolite boosts. Quiver Dance and Silver Wind give most of the boosts I was passing to Caterpie (save for evasion), while I pair up Air Slash and Hidden Power Water for flinching shenanigans and Rock/Fire type coverage, respectively.

Ability: Compound Eyes
Item: King’s Rock
Moves: Quiver Dance, Silver Wind, Air Slash, Hidden Power Water

Ariados

Ever since I wrote my piece on Pokemon who don’t learn obvious moves, I’ve gained a bit of love for Ariados. It’s a surprisingly hard hitting Pokemon, especially with Sniper and Fell Stinger. In an ideal situation, I could run both Focus Energy and Swords Dance on this set, but I felt that a priority move was more important than Swords Dance considering Ariados’ abysmal speed. If Focus Energy and Fell Stinger boosts are up — and I know that’s a huge if — Ariados becomes surprisingly hard to stop.

Ability: Sniper
Item: Scope Lens
Moves: Focus Energy, Fell Stinger, Shadow Sneak, Cross Poison

Shuckle

Hello. I am here to trap you and stall you out with residual damage and massive defense boosts. Thanks.

Ability: Contrary
Item: Chesto Berry
Moves: Shell Smash, Rest, Sleep Talk, Infestation

Araquanid

This spot came down to Golisopod or Araquanid — two Pokemon whose name I routinely forget how to spell. In the end, I picked the one that I can reliably use all four of its moveslots on more than just the first turn of the battle — not to mention one that doesn’t have a horrid ability. Araquanid gives me two stalling Pokemon on this team, though unlike Shuckle, Araquanid can deal out its fair share of damage too. I decided to drop Aqua Ring in favor of Liquidation because of the combination of the Water Bubble ability and Leech Life, but there’s an argument to be made for even more healing here.

Ability: Water Bubble
Item: Lum Berry
Moves: Toxic, Stockpile, Leech Life, Liquidation

Parasect

This is my first time having a Pokemon gym team that doesn’t have a mega evolution on the team, so I feel like I have to explain myself. I’ve already used Mega Heracross in my Fighting gym, while Mega Beedrill and Mega Scizor will be appearing in other gym types. As for Mega Pinsir…no. So here we are. Parasect saved me in my first runthrough of Pokemon Blue as a kid, taking out Sabrina when nothing else on my team could handle her. It’s not the best Bug Pokemon, but it makes the team as a nostalgia pick.

Ability: Damp
Item: Buginium-Z
Moves: Leech Life, Spore, Knock Off, Aerial Ace

Where My Pokemon Go Nicknames Came From

Posted on by Tim4 Comments on Where My Pokemon Go Nicknames Came From

Surprise mid-week bonus post? Yes, yes it is. It’s also a massive length post, so go grab yourself some popcorn or lunch and get settled in.

I recently had a discussion with a fellow Pokemon blogger, Lola, regarding our experience with Pokemon. In a post she wrote in late August, she talked about how one of her Pokemon Go friends refers to her as Nicknamer due to the number of Pokemon she gives nicknames too. This led to a discussion about how I do this too, almost to ridiculous levels. Both Lola and I decided we should write a post about the nicknames we give our Pokemon in Pokemon Go. This lead to me reviewing my Pokemon Go box and realizing that I have a ton of Pokemon I’ve nicknamed.

You should go read Lola’s post here: https://poketravellerlola.wordpress.com/2019/08/28/explaining-my-pokemon-go-nicknames/

How best to go about this then? I’ve decided to share all of my Pokemon Go nicknames here, albeit with a few parameters.

  • I’ve excluded nicknames that are labels for ease of searching for the most part. For example, I name all of my Pokemon I save to trade for distance with a left parenthesis, that way I can find them quickly. There are two exceptions to this rule.
    • All Pokemon I use to quickly drop in gyms I pass have an asterisk at the start of their nickname. When I refer to them in this post, I’ll use the nickname without the asterisk unless it’s part of the name.
    • All Pokemon with perfect IVs4aka perfect stats have names that begin with and accented e at the beginning (é). As with the last point, I’ll refer to them by the nickname without the extra character unless it’s part of the name.
    • Prior to lucky Pokemon being searchable, I preceded all lucky Pokemon names with an L with a stroke (Ł). While I removed this from most Pokemon once that search came out, if it made sense in the name, I kept it.
  • I’m also excluding Pokemon whose nicknames are solely informational, such as:
    • I have a Pokemon currently called Evolve Me. This is so I don’t forget to evolve it at some point.
    • Any Pokemon whose IVs/stats are part of the name.

I’ll add in a few pictures here and there, but not very many, otherwise this list would be even longer than it’s already going to be. There are also SO. MANY. links out, as some of these references are obscure. The list that follows will be in national dex order. Pokemon whose names are in bold and italics are my perfect IV Pokemon

Generation I

  • Venusaur – Way back in July of 2016 when I started playing Pokemon Go, I made an effort to theme some of my nicknames. All of my Gen I starters I caught had names of Greek or Roman philosophers, causing me to have a Venusaur named Socrates. Also, within hours of posting this, I caught my second perfect shadow Pokemon, this time a Bulbasaur. Its name is Aristotle.
  • Charizard – My only named Charizard is called Overrated. I’ve talked about this before.
  • Blastoise – As was the case with Venusaur, I have a philosopher starter here, this one named Parmenides.
  • Beedrill – You’ll find as I go through this list there’s a lot of music jokes. Beedrill is Bug Dentist because…TO BE BUG DENNNNNTISSST
  • Rattata – Both my perfect Rattata and shiny Rattata are named Rat God as a play on Eminem’s song Rap God. I’d also like to note that I once had a Pidgey named Tim Horton. I called it this just so I could trade it to my wife, who had not (at that point) been to Tim Horton’s. It ended up being her best Pidgey by a mile.
  • Fearow – In what might be the longest running joke in my Pokemon nicknames, I have a Fearow named Circle. When playing Pokemon Blue on the bus to a wrestling meet in high school, I asked someone to name my Fearow. They said A Circle. It stuck.
  • Arbok – It is Also Snek. There’s also Snek, but it’s later in this list.
  • Nidoqueen – Nidoran And….Nidoran and…Nidoran and…
  • Nidoking – When I finally got a lucky Nidoking, it immediately got named George III. He was pretty lucky for the US.
  • Clefable – Much like the Minions, Clefairy is annoying and obsessed with the moon. So when I got a perfect one, it got named ThaMooooooon!
  • Ninetales – I love me some Ninetales. All of them have Fire Emblem nicknames. The Kantoian ones are named Selkie5I understand that Selkie is the only Ninetales name that isn’t a reference to Fire Emblem: Awakening. That said, it’s also the only perfect Ninetales I had, so I had to differentiate it somehow., Luna, and Sol, while the Alolan ones are named Lucina, Chrom, and Aether.
  • Parasect – I’m not saying I’m annoyed Leech Life isn’t in the game, but I did name a Parasect after the move.
  • Venomoth – The dragonslayer lives. All hail the ATV.
  • Dugtrio – My very first lucky trade ever netted me an Alolan Diglett. Upon evolving, the Dugtrio’s headbobs timed out really well to the song I was listening to at that time, Le Disko by Shiny Toy Guns. So it’s LeDisko.
  • Persian – Alolan Persian is fat. I got a perfect one, so it’s just Bigglesworth.
  • Golduck – In the SUPER early days of gym battling, Golduck was annoying as hell to deal with, winning far more battles than it reasonably should have as a defender. Considering how often it was victorious, I chose to pay homage to the Glorious Bomb by naming it Glorious.
  • Primeape – In the anime, Primeape steals Ash’s hat. So…AshHatThief.
  • Poliwrath – Ivan Drago seemed like a good choice to shout out with a punching Pokemon. It’s Drago.
  • Alazakam – Two Spoon. Because this video. This series comes up again.
  • Machamp – My favorite throwaway joke from an episode of Family Guy netted me two different Machamp nicknames, Reagan and Sleepy.
  • Victreebel – Nothing says sexual tension like a Bellsprout wiggling its hips. Hence how this became Allureabel.
  • Golem – There’s a few Tolkien jokes here, as I have Kantonian Golem named JRR and Precious. That said, I also have a perfect Alolan Golem named Magnet Rock. It’s not a great name, but it fits.
  • Rapidash – I am…Photo Finish.
  • Dodrio – You’re familiar with the cerberus, right? You know, three headed dog that guards Hades? Well, this is Cerbirbus.
  • Shellder – The very first shiny I ever caught in a main series Pokemon game was a bright orange Shellder I named Scallop. Thus, once I found a shiny Shellder in Pokemon Go, it became Scallop II.
  • Hypno – I have a Hypno named Biggie. I just love his flashy ways.
  • Kingler – I get that Kingler is not a lobster. But considering mine has perfect IVs, it is JIBBERS CRABST. Yes, the all caps is necessary.
  • Hitmonlee – Both of my Hitmonlee are named after wrestlers who love to kick, Funaki and Tajiri.
  • Hitmonchan – Meanwhile, my two Hitmonchan I’ve nicknamed have been named based on female MMA fighters, named Tate and Kowalkiewicz, respectively.
  • Weezing – Oh how I wish Galarian Weezing was out for this. That said, it’s Trump’s EPA. Their track record speaks for itself.
  • Seaking – One of the few times I wished Pokemon allowed curse words, I’m referencing a VERY old meme when I call this MF Seaking.
  • Magikarp – If you ever see my CP 10 shiny Magikarp in a gym, know that its name is Gym Shame and that I’ve placed it in a gym after kicking out someone who annoys me. I have a Meditite with the same name and CP. I also have a Magikarp named LivedOn1HP, as a shoutout to my favorite Poketuber.
  • Lapras – I actually have three named Lapras, all with completely different name sources. The first is named Tree Fiddy, as Lapras looks an awful lot like the Loch Ness Monster. Second, we have one named White Rose, because while Bumbleby is finally a thing, the OTP in RWBY will always be White Rose in my mind. Finally, my shiny Lapras is Liopleurdon, because Charlie needs to see this magical creature.
  • Kabutops – My two Kabutops are named Coheed and Cambria. It’s the Cambrian explosion! Well, plus a Coheed reference.
  • Snorlax – Calling Snorlax fat is too easy. Calling it a Michael Jackson parody (or MJ Parody for short) is at least thinly veiled.
  • Zapdos – Zapdos was the first legendary Pokemon I caught in Pokemon Go6I went 0 for my first 22 attempts at catching a legendary Pokemon in a raid, including 0 for 18 on my favorite Pokemon ever, Articuno. Of course, I caught four of the first five Zapdos I saw. — and I got a near perfect one at that. Said Zapdos was named Electric Fried Chicken, or EFC for short. Then, once we got Zapdos raid day with Thunder Shock as a special move, one of the Zapdos I caught on that day became Wichita St. No, I don’t care that it’s not the same kind of shocker.
  • Dragonite – In recognizing two of the move-based nicknames I’ve given, my Outrage knowing Dragonite is oRATM7(out)Rage Against The Machine, while my Draco Meteor knowing one is Malfoy.
  • Mew – When you go to catch Mew as part of the special research reward in Pokemon Go, you go into AR mode. Mew will disappear on your screen intermittently, making it one of the more annoying catches in the game. Because it becomes invisible, its name is…

Generation II

  • Ariados – I’m not saying I’m annoyed Ariados can’t learn Sing in any Pokemon game, but I did name one Missing Sing.
  • Crobat – In what might be super obscure reference, my Crobat is named Vlad because you wouldn’t hit a bat with glasses on, would you?
  • Igglybuff – The most recent perfect IV Pokemon on my list gets to use the accented e as part of its nickname, as its floaty nature lends itself to the nickname éLium.
  • Ampharos – My lone Community Day Ampharos is named Glorious Hair because have you seen Mega Ampharos. I also have an Ampharos named Philip because…well, you know.
  • Azumarill – My perfect bunny Pokemon is named Crimson as a shoutout to a rabbit named Clover owned by one of my friends.
  • Politoed – In easily the most surprising perfect IV Pokemon I’ve ever encountered, I caught a perfect shadow Poliwag recently. I purified it out of principle, but because of its perfection and purification, it seemed like it needed a holy name. Since I already have a perfect Poliwrath, it was only natural to make this one a Politod, hence the named Toadsus.
  • Espeon – Much like Lapras, I have three named Espeon8This is a trend with certain Pokemon in Go for me. It started with Espeon, but it’s since expanded.. My Community Day Espeon is named Papa Roach on the account of knowing Last Resort. My shiny one also has a musical reference, having the name LoveTheAlien due to its green coloration. Finally, I have an Espeon named Magic Bounce as a nod to its ability in the main games. I’d like to think Magic Bounce’s theme song is Magic Stick, however according to my wife, I’m the only person who still likes that song.
  • Umbreon – My shiny Umbreon is named InGaN, which is the chemical notation for Indium Gallium Nitride. It’s the stuff that makes your LED lights glow blue.
  • Murkrow – More music references, as my perfect Murkrow is named éPro, which is a nod to the Beck song by the same name. Said Murkrow is also called The Murkrow of Death, as it’s a PvP monster.
  • Steelix – Oh hey! I told you Snek would show up later.
  • Shuckle – More sadness from the Cursing is Banned in Pokemon Department, as everyone knows you cannot fuckle with Shuckle. Since I like to drop Shuckle in gyms, the asterisk serves a double purpose here, as my main one is named *le.
  • Delibird – Santa Birb. This one is obvious.
  • Houndour – My shiny Houndour is named Huckleberry, both as a nod to Huckleberry Hound, as well as to Doc Holiday.
  • Kingdra – I have Kingdra and Queendra. Not much explanation necessary here.
  • Donphan – It’s an elephant. With what looks like tank treads on it. So it’s Treadaphant. Again, not a complicated one.
  • Hitmontop – I can’t be the only one who thinks Hitmontop looks like a teenage version of Groot. Right? Right. This is Teen Groot.
  • Blissey – Never have I been so pissed off about Pokemon Go as I was when I finally had enough candy to evolve my Chansey into a Blissey, only for Niantic to nerf Blissey the very next day. Not even when Smeargle almost made me quit the game. Blissey will always remain named Stupid Nerf for that reason.
  • Tyranitar – Pretty simple really. Mine is called Dark Dragon because it’s a Dark-type that’s also a drago…what? Tryranitar is Rock/Dark? Who thought this up? Next you’re going to tell me Psyduck isn’t Psychic type9For the few unaware, Psyduck is a pure Water type for reasons that literally no one has ever been able to explain adequately.

Generation III

  • Blaziken – My perfect IV Blaziken is named Col. Sanders. Because it’s a Fire type chicken. Fried chicken.
  • Linoone – This nickname is sadly a relic of the pre-CP rebalance days. My wife and I were sitting in our apartment catching weather boosted Pokemon when a CP 69 Zigzagoon popped up. I make the joke that all CP 69s were perfect, which she scoffed at…but then this Zigzagoon actually was. Sadly, its CP change with the rebalance, but I kept its nickname, Nice.
  • Dustox – Dust Devils are tornado like things that appear in the desert Southwest and are one of my favorite natural phenomena. Considering my Dustox knows Silver Wind, I found DustDevil to be a fitting name.
  • Shifty – Finding a perfect Seedot is ridiculous. So is giving it a corny nickname. It’s named énroc, which is a play on the word corny being spelled backwards.
  • Taillow – Earlier this year, I was job hunting hard and had gone through the interview process for a job I really wanted. I had waited longer than I expected for word to come back on said job. I was walking around my old work parking lot, stressing about my work situation, all while playing Pokemon Go to mindlessly pass the time. I caught a Taillow and named it Hope because hope is the thing with feathers. About an hour later, I got a call offering me the job I was looking for. It’s a garbage Taillow, but I keep it anyway.
  • Gardevoir – Though my Murkrow has the “of Death” appending to their nickname informally, my perfect Ralts (now Gardevoir) got it as part of her name, as I dubbed it DressODeath. It’s clearly a combat skirt.
  • Breloom – As someone who used to travel a decent amount for work, FlightAware was my best friend. When I caught a good Breloom with double Fighting moves in an airport, it obviously had to be named FightAware.
  • Slaking – There’s a sloth sanctuary in Costa Rica. It looks like fun, as they have baby sloths. When I got my first perfect sloth, it got named Costa Rica.
  • Hariyama – Yokozuna and E.Honda seemed like good names to give to these massive behemoths of destruction.
  • Delcatty – Did you know Tacocat is Tacocat spelled backwards? I love my Delcatty, even if it isn’t as trolly as I want it to be.
  • Mawile – Mawile can eat you with its hair. Nom Hair is its name.
  • Medicham – Want to know one of my least favorite Pokemon designs? It’s the Medicham line. The whole line. That said, I clearly had to keep the perfect one I hatched. It’s name? ILookDumb.
  • Manectric – Manectric has entrance music, just like a pro wrestler. That song? “I Am Electric” by Heaven’s Basement. Only it sings its name, IAmManectric.
  • Swalot – Swalot looks like a gumdrop. A toxic one. But Gumdrop it is.
  • Wailord and Kyogre – I’m combining these two as both of their nicknames have the same origin story. After catching my first Kyogre, I named it Lord Whale, as Kyogre is the guardian of the sea or something like that. My wife misheard me and thought I called it Wailord, which confused her, as I was still 100 or so candy from being able to evolve my Wailmer into a Wailord. A couple of weeks later, I got my candy and evolved Wailmer into Wailord. I named it Kyogre. I also may or may not have told a friend of mine that this was the release of shiny Kyogre.
  • Flygon – If only Flygon had gotten a mega evolution. Then I wouldn’t have to call my perfect Flygon by the name of NonMega.
  • Altaria – My Altaria is named Swabby. Not all of these are good names.
  • Seviper – My Seviper is CP 404. As such, its name is SnekNotFound.
  • Whiscash – A perfect mustache on a perfect IV Pokemon deserves the name Rollie, as an ode to one of the greatest mustaches to ever live.
  • Milotic – Pokemon Go has really made me hate Feebas. Imagine my annoyance with the recent Jirachi special research had a task to evolve a Feebas. Thus, my Feebas, eventually Milotic, got renamed IHateFeebas.
  • Castform – One of my favorite things to do is to put Snowy Castform in gyms in Ohio. It legit makes people mad. I just have an army of Snow Castform named Snow1, Snow 2, Snow3, etc. I also have a rainy Castform aptly named H2O.
  • Banette – All of my perfect Pokemon get names, regardless of what they are or how good of a name I can think of for them. That’s now my perfect Banette got the name Zippers.
  • Wynaut – I considered naming my Wynaut Why. Why? Wynaut.
  • Metagross – All of my Metagross that I use in battle are members of the Wu-Tang Clan. Currently, I have RZA, ODB10ODB started this, as it was originally short for Ol’ Dirty Beldum., Method Man, and Raekwon.
  • Latios – I am not a fan of the Latis. After my fifth consecutive research reward Latios, I named it Trashios. I then proceeded to get another one the next week.
  • Groudon – We can all agree that Primal Groudon looks like something out of the Power Rangers universe, yes? Good. Then you understand why this is Megazord.

Generation IV

  • Bidoof – Bidoof is Rusty. Bidoof will always be Rusty until they release the shiny version.
  • Roserade – My wife used to label Pokemon she wanted to trade with the name Zz. When she made a trade with me that netted me a lucky, shiny Roselia, this lead to me naming the Pokemon RoZzelia. This changed to RoZzrade once its evolution was released.
  • Drifblim – A while back, I did a challenge wherein my goal was to beat the Pokemon Sun Elite Four using only a Caterpie to attack. This strategy was full of Baton Pass shenanigans, which involved a Drifblim passing Minimize and Stockpile boosts. Thus my Drifblim in Go got the name Minimize.
  • Honchkrow – I was traded a shiny Murkrow. It was lucky before lucky trades existed. It’s thusly named The Purpkrow. I still refuse to believe shiny Murkrow can be found in the wild11I said this to my wife once. She then tapped on a Murkrow and it was shiny. DURING THE CONVERSATION WHERE I WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT IT. That’s some Tim McCarver level bullshit..
  • Bonsly – Sudowoodo is introduced to players in Pokemon Gold/Silver by faking being a tree. Hence my shiny Bonsly’s name TotallyATree.
  • Munchlax – I hatched two perfect Munchlax in the span of 30 days. Their names are éatAllThings and éatMoreThing, respectively.
  • Lucario – Oh look. Something for me to wreck in Smash. As a Lucina main, I consider Lucario to be SmashFodder.
  • Abomasnow – Abomasnow. Obama in snow. President Snow.
  • Rhyperior – Both of my Rhyperior are references to Dwayne Johnson, being named RockBottom and Dwayne, respectively.
  • Tangrowth – Look. If you had. One shot. To name a Tangrowth anything you ever wanted. Would you capture it? Or just let it slip?12Also, Tangela should be pronounced tan-gel-a from here on out. Don’t ask why. Just do it.
  • Electivire – I caught a perfect Electabuzz in a raid, only for Rock Me Amadeus to come on the raid very shortly afterward. Hence my Electivire getting the name Ohmadayus.
  • Togekiss – Birb. Just birb.
  • Leafeon – I am a leaf on the wind…except that’s too many characters for Pokemon Go, so it’s just LeafOnTheWin.
  • Glaceon – My favorite frozen dessert? Ice cream. But my second favorite? Italian Ice. Since this Glaceon is perfect, we get a small bastardization of that name, as it became étalianIce13I’ll still accept this pronunciation for Italian over people who insist on pronouncing it “eye-tal-yan”. I know, and am related to, at least two people who do this. It’s cringey..
  • Mamoswine – Did you know Ray Romano is a really good actor in things that aren’t Everybody Loves Raymond? Like Ice Age. It’s a good reason to name a Mamoswine after him.
  • Porygon Z – Porygon is a duck. It’s also made from code. A digital duck, if you will. Digital duck. Digiduck.
  • Gallade – My Gallade is named Arm Blades because…well…have you seen Gallade’s arms?
  • Probopass – Nosepass and Probopass look like dollar store Easter Island heads. Hence the nickname I’ve giving mine, Łeaster.
  • Meltan – Prior to Meltan being officially announced, Niantic gave us a sneak peek of it by having Ditto disguise itself as Meltan for a brief amount of time. Since there wasn’t any information about this Pokemon out there, the Pokemon community started giving it placeholder names. My favorite of these was Nutto. I’ve kept the first Meltan I ever caught, along with its initial nickname — Nutto.

Fire Emblem: Three Houses – Likes and Dislikes

Posted on by TimLeave a Comment on Fire Emblem: Three Houses – Likes and Dislikes

I’ve held of writing this post as long as I could. For those of you who follow me on social media, you’re likely well aware that around a month ago, I picked up Fire Emblem: Three Houses. As a big fan of the Fire Emblem series, I was excited to see a new game coming out. The early reviews for the game were spectacular, though considering how far the series dropped off from Awakening to Fates (nevermind the trainwreck that was Shadows of Valentia), I was a bit skeptical for how good Three Houses would actually be.

Considering the fact that I’ve been able to get around 110 hours of gameplay in since the game came out, I feel pretty confident in saying it’s a great game. While I haven’t played through enough of the game to give a full-fledged review14Seriously. Without getting too spoliery, I’ve played through two of the games four paths in full, as well as having started a third path. I would legitimately estimate that to truly finish the game, I’ll need around 200-250 hours of gameplay., there’s still quite a few things I’ve been able to develop an opinion on to this point.

In this post, I wanted to give my thoughts on a few things from Three Houses I like, as well as some thoughts on dislikes of the game. I’ll come straight out and say that while the two lists in this post are pretty balanced numberwise, there are far more things I like about the game than I dislike. Additionally, I’m not going to hit on every single feature I have an opinion on in this game, as that would make this post far too long to read. Plus there are a few topics15Unit customization, the lack of child units, the support system, and the entire Edelgard arc, just to name a few. that I want to talk about in deeper detail in other posts.

Spoilers WILL occur from this point forward. You’ve been warned.

Likes

1. Weapon/Class Relationships

I’m going to do a lot of comparison of Three Houses in this post to Awakening for a few different reasons.

  1. It’s the game I have the most comprehensive knowledge of16I’ve played Radiant Dawn, Awakening, Fates, and Shadows of Valentia, as well as translated versions of Mystery of the Emblem and Thracia 776. Of these, the only ones I’ve liked enough to want to replay them were Awakening and Fates. Admittedly, the replay value to Fates is just the differences between the Revelation line and the other two lines, so take that for what it’s worth..
  2. It’s the game that I have the most time invested in to — probably ever. According to my 3DS, I’ve played around 800 hours of Awakening over time17The next closest I can find is Civilization V, where I’ve played about 450 hours over time. Granted, my Xbox 360 doesn’t track play time for games, otherwise I’d think NCAA Football 12 would also be up there.
  3. It was the last great Fire Emblem game before Three Houses.

In Awakening, like most Fire Emblem games, the class that your unit is currently in dictates the weapons they can wield. For example, Noire starts out as an Archer, meaning she can use bows. She also has pretty good proficiency with bows when you recruit her. That said, because her mother is a Dark Mage, you can reclass Noire to a Dark Mage. Doing so means that that Noire can now wield tomes — but that she can no longer wield bows. Even more annoying, there isn’t a class in the game that allows Noire to use both her bow skills and magic, as you’re limited by the class you’re in. On the plus side, you do still retain that previous weapon experience, though it’s still of no use to you.

Three Houses recognizes this flaw and actually builds a way around this in most situations. Weapons (mostly) aren’t locked to a specific class, meaning not only that most classes can use any weapon, you can also build off of your previous weapon experience if you change classes. As an example to this I had intended to make Ingrid a Holy Knight. In order to pass the class certification18Three Houses way of allowing class changes, I needed to level up Ingrid’s skills in Riding, Lance, and Faith. Unfortunately, midway through this process, I realized the unit I wanted to become my Dancer couldn’t actually be reclassed into Dancer19I just wanted Shamir to be a Dancer. Is that too much to ask?, meaning I had to pick a new unit for this on the fly. I chose Ingrid, which would have meant that all of her previous training would have gone to waste in old Fire Emblem games. That said, Three Houses allowed me to retain her skills, meaning that I now had a Dancer running around defending herself with a Lance — and eventually brawling gauntlets, as Ingrid punching people in the face amuses me.

There are some classes that lock you out of using a particular weapon or skill. Obviously non-mounted/flying units won’t use the Riding or Flying skill sets. Similarly, classes like the Paladian class prevent you from using magic while in that class. But this is a huge improvement over previous games.

2. Unbalanced Classes, Weapons, and Skills

One of the biggest complaints about Awakening can be summed up in a single sentence:

Galeforce is broken.

And to be fair, the Galeforce skill was broken as all fuck. And once you knew that, you could choose how hard or easy to make your game by building around (or building for) units with Galeforce. While Galeforce wasn’t the only broken thing in Awakening20The Vengence and Armsthrift skills, killer-type weapons, and the Dark Knight class as a whole all come to mind., it was the one that was the most obviously so.

It’s my personal opinion that not only does Three Houses have broken classes, weapons, and skills, it doubles down on what Awakening did. Here’s a brief summary of how to make an absurdly overpowered unit in Three Houses. These steps are in no particular order, but do try all of them.

  • Start with a unit that has good black magic spells. Think Dorothea, Linhardt, or Lorenz21You could also use Sylvain for this strategy if you want truly hilarious results, as his budding talent gives him an additional +20 avoidance when using black magic. That said he won’t hit quite as hard as some others on this list.. Lysithea or Hubert would work too if you prefer dark magic users.
  • Focus train them on Flying skills until they get to an A+ in Flying to get Alert Stance+. This grants +30 avoidance if all you do with your unit is Wait.
  • Build your unit’s skills up in Lance and Riding until they can pass the Dark Knight certification.
  • Charge into battle and press Wait.

Don’t like to use magic users? Get a bow user up to at least C rank to get Close Counter, follow the same steps above, except using Bow Knight instead of Dark Knight, and counter-kill everything. Prefer directly attacking? Canto might be the most broken single skill in ANY Fire Emblem game. The only downside is that you can’t take advantage of the strategy above. My point is that you can make the game super easy for yourself by doing some of the things I just talked about. Or you can make the game harder by making Ingrid and Bernadetta hand-to-hand combat specialists. This is a good thing.

3. Monestary Exploration

I’m not saying a third of my time on Three Houses has been solely dedicated to exploring the monestary and doing quests/building unit supports therein. But the only reason I’m not saying that is because I haven’t actively kept track of the amount of time I’ve devoted to it.

There’s quite a lot I like about the monestary, even if initially exploring it is a bit of a slow go. As stupid as it is, the fishing minigame can be quite fun when you run into some of the rarer fish. The weapon tournaments in the training grounds require more strategy than you’d think, particularly once you get out of the beginning tournaments. And of course the dining hall is a great way to build up support between units without having to grind up every single one of your unit’s stats for recruiting.

My only real gripe with the monestary is how many rooms you randomly have to check for dropped items — they literally made a room for every single student character. I mean, it makes sense. Good on the monestary for planning student housing appropriately. But come on. Let me find the items I’m looking for already.

Dislikes

1. Weapon Crafting

Even in previous games in the Fire Emblem series, the wepaon crafting system has been tedious at best. It has ranged from fine but annoying (Fates) to objectively annoying (Awakening) to accidentally broken (Path of Radiance). There were attempts to make it better with Three Houses, but to say they fell short would be an understatement. This is because of one primary feature — the Rusted weapons.

They’re EVERYWHERE. They’re rarely good weapons, they can’t be sold for any value unless you forge them, and they don’t get any bonuses from being forged aside from being exactly as good as a weapon you can buy in the shop. They solely exist so you can grind money to by selling them.

You’re also limited to one forge level per weapon, which means that there’s not a ton of inherent value in doing so for most weapons. If it was a situation like Awakening where you could forge an iron weapon up a few times to give it extra might and critical rate, that’d be one thing. But the boosts are minimal. There’s also no renaming of crafted weapons. Somewhere, Odin Dark is crying softly into his trembling sword hand.

2. Lost Items

I don’t like consulting online guides in my first playthrough of games. While I don’t mind being spoiled on the game itself, I do want to figure out how to play it on my own. That said, I had to look up a lost items guide. There’s just so many of them, several of which have very little logic to who they belong to — especially if you’re on your first play of the game and don’t know every character’s backstory. They’re great for little one-off motivation boosts, but as a whole, lost items are more troublesome than they’re worth.

3. The Instruction System

One of the core tenants of Three Houses is that you’re a mercenary turned professor who is enlisted to lead/teach a group of students from one of the continent’s three major countries. You’re apparently a good enough of a mercenary that your father — the greatest mercenary who ever lived according to several people — felt coumfortable letting you be a mercenary with him. And yet, when you instruct your students, even in subjects or weapons you’re well-versed in, the impact you make towards your students’ skills is negligable.

I get it. We’ve reached the point where part of the appeal to Fire Emblem is the story22Easily my favorite part of any Fire Emblem game. and the shipping you can do between the characters. Hell, I’m guilty of it too. But if you’re going to make your main character a teacher — one whose main story purpose for the first half of the game is to teach — at least make their instruction matter.

The Worst Fire Emblem Awakening Play Through Ever: Paralogues 1 and 2

Posted on by TimLeave a Comment on The Worst Fire Emblem Awakening Play Through Ever: Paralogues 1 and 2

The following post is part of my series “The Worst Fire Emblem Awakening Playthrough Ever”. Spoilers ahead for a six year old game.

Welcome back to the worst Fire Emblem Awakening play through ever. When we last left the Shepherds, we played through the most emotionally draining chapter of a video game this side of a UGF Pandas bowl game. In light of important storyline people dying, I’ve decided to take a break from the main story to play through two of the paralogue chapters. We’ll be playing paralogues 1 and 2, which range from terribly annoying (in the case of paralogue 1) to mind numbingly easy (in the case of paralogue 2).The goal here will primarily be to level units and supports, so I won’t be taking in most of my higher level units unless it’s for support building.

Paralogue 1: Sickle to Sword

Our chapter starts with Chrom being confronted by a young Pastafarian named Donnel. He’s begging for help to save his village, I think, though it’s hard to tell because he talks like Boomhauer. A brigand shows up and starts mocking Donnel, only to realize that Chrom is here and turns tail. Donnel introduces himself and explains that explains that his village has been attacked by bandits. He begs Chrom to save his mother and the rest of the village. Chrom, being noble but dumb, agrees.

We then shift focus to the brigand camp where their leader, Roddick, is receiving a warning from the aforementioned brigand who ran away from Chrom. Roddick hatches a plan to kidnap Chrom and ransom him, completely oblivious to Chrom’s plot armor. Roddick threatens Donnel’s mom who we never hear from again after this chapter.

Donnel, Chrom, and the Shepherds come up on the village under the cover of night. Chrom tells Donnel he should fight to grow stronger, which means we’re going to need someone(s) to drag him along through this level to be able to recruit him. Normally this would be a situation where Virion would come in handy, but he’s buried under Arena Ferox. So we’ll have to make due with Tharja and Christopher Robin as our ranged units, along with underleveled units like Stahl and Gaius. Chrom says more words, but none of them are important.

On the first turn, we use Gaius and Tharja to wear down a warrior before Donnel (paired up with Sully) gets the easy kill. Cordelia also picks up a kill, but most of this turn is spent getting units paired to set up for the next couple turns, as this will be slow going. Cordelia serves as our bait unit on turn two, but she does her job a little too well, getting a critical hit kill on the unit she baited out. Turn three results in even more good luck of the bad variety, with Gaius and Tharja getting a pair up kill, along with Stahl and his 5% critical hit chance critting a unit. Then on the enemy phase, Gaius gets BACK-TO-BACK critical unit kills because reasons. Fortunately, this issue doesn’t resurface on turn four, allowing Donnel to get another easy cleanup kill following Gaius tanking damage. Cordelia and Libra are running around picking up item spaces for support points while an enemy thief is trying to run away with a Killer Lance that I’ll totally be stealing from them. Donnel finally gets his level up on the enemy phase of turn five, taking his first damage in the process.

As we go into the second half of the map, Tharja and Gaius continue killing everything in their path, managing to pin an archer into a corner in the process, giving Donnel an easy kill. Cordelia and Libra team up with Christopher and Stahl to sweep the rest of the map. Chrom was also there because he has to be.

We end the level with Donnel excited that the bandits are defeated. Chrom congratulates him then Donnel announces his mother that he’s off to be all that he can be in the army. Chrom accepts the offer, realizing that Donnel will one day grow into a beautiful butterfly, capable of passing down massive growth rates to a child.

Paralogue 2: Sickle to Sword

Before this chapter, I did two rounds of reeking box battles so Donnel could hold his own here. Hence bringing him. That said, he’s still woefully underleveled and it almost went very badly.

At the start of the level, a random merchant is treating a soldier when Chrom and company wander upon him. It appears bandits are attacking Ylissean refugees fleeting to Ferox, as well as merchants travelling the road. Frederick insists that the honor of capitalism must be protected at all costs, lest people starve. Chrom agrees and we’re off to pick our units.

After selecting units, we’re greeted by twins. Their names are Vincent and Victor and I’m not sure if they’re actual twins or the adult film kind of twins, because they’re calling each other darling. Vincent and Victor are intent on pillaging the village. Vincent runs off so that Victor can command the bandit horde in their saking of the hamlet. Said hamlet is protected by an allied unit named Anna who appears to be a promoted unit. That can’t be good for the bandits.

I’ve brought a lot of fliers to this level for sake of leveling up, and we immediately get to work on that, with quick first turn kills coming from Cordelia and Maribelle. That said, my foolish ass had Donnel bum rush a unit, not quite getting the kill, and nearly died on the follow up turn. That’s enough of that for one day. Turns two through four mostly involved Sumia, Tharja, and Maribelle killing everyone at the top and right of the map that Anna doesn’t, however I lost internet and was waiting on my computer to reboot, so I didn’t take notes like a fool.

But turn five, Chrom finally makes his way up to Anna, mistakenly asking if she’s hurt before realizing (per his dialogue) that Anna is fine. In reality, Anna is living on 8 out of 35 HP, so she’s definitely not in the best shape. Chrom offers his assistance, which Anna accepts. Maribelle visits our concerned villagers, where they give her a Physic wand to heal Anna. This would have worked much better before Maribelle reclassed. Once we’re down to nothing but enemy units on the most southern area of the map, Victor and friends start to advance, only to meet the pointy end of Cordelia’s lance and Libra’s axe. My wife recently came to me after flipping through the Awakening artbook and asked why so many of the female units looked whorish. For examples, she used Aversa — which, yeah, I get that one — and Cordelia. The most virtuous female character in the game (arguably) — Cordelia. I laughed. A lot. I also let her get the final kill here out of principle.

Our anonymous merchant thanks Chrom and company, while Anna also passes along her thanks. She refers to herself as the Secret Seller and promises to give Chrom a discount the next time they meet, ending our chapter.

Endof Level Recap

There was a bit more leveling up in these two chapters than I expected. Add in the couple of reeking box levels for Donnel — as well as the collateral experience other units gained — and the squad as a whole is in a good place for chapter 10 when we get back to the main story.

Units

  • Vaike – Level 14 Fighter
  • Ricken – Level 13 Mage
  • Sumia – Level 13 Pegasus Knight
  • Cordelia – Level 12 Pegasus Knight
  • Miriel – Level 11 Mage
  • Panne – Level 11 Taguel
  • Chrom – Level 11 Lord
  • Tharja – Level 11 Dark Mage
  • Sully – Level 11 Cavalier
  • Gregor – Level 10 Mercenary
  • Gaius – Level 10 Thief
  • Nowi – Level 9 Manakete
  • Kellam – Level 9 Knight
  • Christopher – Level 8 Tactician
  • Lon’qu – Level 6 Myrmidon
  • Maribelle – Level 6 Pegasus Knight
  • Stahl – Level 6 Cavalier
  • Lissa – Level 5 Pegasus Knight
  • Frederick – Level 4 Great Knight
  • Donnel – Level 4 Villager
  • Libra – Level 1 War Monk
  • Virion – Level 2 Pin Cushion

Supports

  • Tharja & Gaius: None to C to B to A
  • Stahl & Christopher: None to C
  • Cordelia & Libra: C to B to A
  • Cordelia & Gaius: None to C
  • Sully & Donnel: None to C

Class Changes

  • None this chapter.