My Least Favorite Pokemon of Each Type

Early last year, I had this bright idea to write a post talking about my favorite Pokemon of each type. That post, much to my surprise, was my 5th most viewed post in all of 2017. Fuck if I know why. But between that and my compulsive addition to having Poketube videos on in the background as I do systems adminning, I ran across another video that made me want to make a Pokemon based list.

One of my favorite Poketubers, Ace Trainer Liam, recently put out the video below wherein he goes through his least favorite Pokemon of each type.

As I did in my last list, I will not reuse any Pokemon on my list even if they’re dual type. For example, if Pidgey was my least favorite both Normal and Flying type1It’s not. Pidgey may be garbage, but I don’t hate it., I’d only use it once on the list, so as to make this list as diverse as possible. Additionally, since I made my last list, I’ve played through Gen V, but still haven’t had the chance to play Gen VI2As my life in the last six months has been a ball of chaos.. With that said, since some of those Pokemon do resurface in Sun/Moon, they may show up here. All images are courtesy Bulbapedia.

Normal – Blissey

Let’s begin with a Pokemon I detest because of how annoying it is to take down in both the mainline games and Pokemon Go. Blissey is the definition of a wall. You’re probably not going to get hurt by it unless you’re massively underleveled, but you’ll need to spend far too much time and far too many resources to beat it. Had Chansey never gotten an evolution, it would have been difficult to beat, but fine. Blissey takes the worst things about Chansey and cranks them up to eleven.

Sighs of Relief For: Zangoose, Watchog

Fire – Charizard

I can already hear the rage coming from the internet for this one. That said, as someone who played Pokemon Blue within six months of its release, then didn’t play another Pokemon game for nearly ten years, I ended up playing through Gen I a ton of times. This led to developing some very strong opinions about Gen I mon, of which I always felt that Charmander was objectively the worst starter. Yeah, Charmander itself was cute, but all its evolutions served to do was to ramp up the difficulty of a buggy game. I get that the anime made Ash’s Charizard a pseudo-god, but it just feels like they were compensating for something3See also: Charizard getting two mega evolutions when all other Gen I starters only got one..

Sighs of Relief For: Pyroar, Typhlosion

Fighting – Hitmontop

I understand Hitmontop is arguably the best of the Hitmon line. I get that it has a purpose in competitive battling. It’s a good Pokemon. I just hate it. It is one of the worst designed Pokemon to ever get put out by Game Freak. Just…why.

Sighs of Relief For: Passimian, Medicham, Chesnaught

Water – Goldeen

I understand Goldeen’s place in Super Smash Brothers as a joke Pokemon. I hate when it pops out of the Poke Ball every single time, but it’s still objectively funny. In the games, Goldeen and Seaking are not great. They’re outclassed across the board by nearly every Pokemon. So…why bother making the signature move of this weak goldfish a necessary HM to complete later games? I get that this isn’t Goldeen’s fault, but the fact that it happened further soured my opinion on a Pokemon that I wasn’t fond of initially.

Sighs of Relief For: Mantine, Feraligatr

Flying – Zubat

GO AWAY CAVE HERPES! I’M JUST TRYING TO GET TO THE NEXT TOWN!

Sighs of Relief For: Ledian, Mega Pinsir

Grass – Meganium

Gen II is arguably the best generation of Pokemon to ever be made4My ranking would be Gold/Silver > Black/White > Diamond/Pearl > Red/Blue/Yellow > Sun/Moon > Pokemon Go > Ruby/Sapphire. There’s only two things that make this statement one that can even be debated. The first is that the Elite Four just isn’t that good5A problem is shares with Sun/Moon.. The second problem is that Gen II’s starters are all hot garbage. I generally find myself abandoning whoever my starter is no later than Goldenrod City. I usually pick Chikorita because it’s the one I feel the least bad about leaving in a box. I know the Pokemon Center and Professor Not Oak will take good care of it. That way it doesn’t have to grow up into a Meganium.

Sighs of Relief For: Chesnaught (Again), Cradily

Poison – Tentacool

Zubat, but for water.

Sighs of Relief For: Garbodor

Electric – Luxray

Remember how on my favorite Pokemon list I talked about how a major reason I hate the Electric type is because of how cute everything is? Nearly every Electric Pokemon I hate is cute. Except Luxray. Luxray is a beloved Pokemon that I can’t understand the admiration for. It’s…fine? But people treat it like it’s a godsend to the Electric typing. Yeah, it has three evolutions. But so does Magnezone. Sure, it’s a lion, but lions are the worst of all cats6And I LOVE cats.. If you’re going to pick an overrated Electric type, just pick a Pikachu clone. Don’t talk about how Luxray is so great when it’s basically the Bernie Kosar of Pokemon7Decent, but grossly overrated by its fanboys..

Sighs of Relief For: Plusle, Minun, Dedenne

Ground – Groudon

It’s not that I hate Groudon. It’s an overpowered beast. That said, it’s one of my least favorite legendaries, from one of my least favorite Pokemon games, in a typing where I like a ton of the Pokemon. In the end, it was a debate between a legendary Pokemon and a bat with a ball sack dangling from it. Groudon loses solely based on the childish humor factor.

Sighs of Relief For: Gligar

Psychic – Spoink

Psychic has a ton of wildly divisive Pokemon. On one hand, some of my favorite Pokemon are Psychic typing, either singularly or in part. That said, some of my least favorite Pokemon are also Psychic typing. The most detestable of these is Spoink and its Sisyphan task of bouncing for the rest of its life otherwise it dies. I get that it’s a gimmick for an otherwise weak Pokemon. But…that’s just not how animals work. Just no.

Sighs of Relief For: Unown, Bruxish, Espurr8I have super mixed opinions on Espurr. On one hand, I love its evolution line and move set. On the other hand, THOSE SUPER DEAD EYES.

Rock – Onix

Look. I want to like Onix. I really do. It got screwed over in the anime. It’s the anchor Pokemon of the very first gym you face in the main games. But here’s the thing — it’s a disappointment. It’s bulky, but not as much as you’d think it would be. It’s faster than you’d think, but not fast enough to actually do anything. And it doesn’t hit hard. At all. Really after Gen I stopped having Wrap/Bind be trapping moves, Onix was worthless. Of all the Pokemon on this list, it’s by far the one I have the most disappointment with.

Sighs of Relief For: Minior, Archeops

Ice – Glalie

Despite what the internet might tell you, there’s no such thing as a bad ice type. Sure, they have tons of weaknesses and are often frail, but they hit hard and have some of the best designs in all of Pokemon. The exception is Glalie. Glalie is terrifying. How do you go from the adorableness that is Snorunt to…that? Throw in the fact that Snorunt also evolves into one of my favorite Pokemon, as well as Glalie’s horrifying mega evolution, and you’ve got literally the only ice type I can’t stand. There’s honorable mentions below, but it’s not close.

Sighs of Relief For: Beartic, Walrein

Bug – Ledian

Has anyone ever beat a Pokemon game with a Ledian on their team? I can justify using almost any Pokemon in game9Though Gen II does have some rough Pokemon base stat wise., but Ledian is one of those rare exceptions that I can’t see any use for. I mean, I guess maybe you could use Iron Fist Ledian with Mach Punch, Ice Punch, Thunder Punch, and Focus Punch. But at that point, why not use Hitmonchan?

Sighs of Relief For: Armaldo, Buzzwole

Dragon – Haxorus

I know a lot of people hate Lickilicky, but the real worst name in Pokemon belongs to Haxorus. I’m sure it’s a fine Pokemon in battle. But between its disappointing design and its horrendous name, I’m never going to use it.

Sighs of Relief For: Turtanor, Guzzlord

Ghost – Gengar

I recognize that this bias is 100% is due to my Gen I and Gen II experience with Gengar. There’s just so many other Ghost Pokemon I’d use than Gengar, even though I know full well that Mega Gengar is an awesome. Maybe it’s because I couldn’t get one of my own as a kid because I had no friends to trade with10Thank god for the GTS.. Maybe it’s because I just preferred Haunter because of its appearances in the anime. Regardless, I just don’t care about Gengar.

Sighs of Relief For: Trevenant, Alolan Marowak

Dark – Shiftry

How is this a Dark type? Really though. I don’t get it. I mean, it’s clearly a Grass type. But how isn’t this Grass/Fighting? I understand that it would have been inferior to Breloom within its own generation, but I don’t care. Of all of the Pokemon types that don’t make sense, this one frustrates me the most.

Sighs of Relief For: Mightyena, Stunky

Steel – Klefki

Very much like the Ice and Ground types, there aren’t that many Steel types I actually dislike. I’m just indifferent about them. Skarmory and Magnezone are great, and Metagross and Aegislash are powerful as all hell. Beyond that though, I genuinely don’t care strongly about any Steel types. Klefki gets this spot solely because of how tired I got of seeing it as a Spikes setter when battling online in Pokemon Moon.

Sighs of Relief For: Bronzong, Forretress

Fairy – Azurill

I get why baby Pokemon were implemented in the games. There needed to be something more to the breeding system than just passing down broken moves for competitive battling. That said, Azurill is bar none the worst baby Pokemon out there. It constantly looks like it’s going to cry. I get that I’m not the target market for this Pokemon, but why release just a sad looking Pokemon as one of the first you reveal for a new generation? Gen III was terrible.

Sighs of Relief For: Dedenne (again), Magearna

What Your Favorite Type of Pie Says About You

I love pie. Pie is everything cake wants to be without all of the disappointment of being terrible 30 minutes after you cut it. When people ask me what kind of cake I want for my birthday, I say ice cream cake. But when they tell me ice cream cake is too expensive, I say I want pie. And because my birthday is close to Thanksgiving, nearly every year someone obliges.

Everyone has their own favorite kind of pie. I’m a fan of pecan myself. But did you know that your favorite pie can tell other people a lot about you1It can’t.?

It can’t2Nope.?

You’re saying I’m just using Buzzfeed-like listicle science to get you to keep reading3Yes. Stop it, Tim. You’re better than this.?

Have you had pie4Well, yes. But that’s not the point.?

Well then come along on a journey wherein I help you learn what your favorite kind of pie says about you5Goddammit..

Cherry Pie

You’re a simple person who enjoys simple pleasures. You love how a warm, flaky, buttery crust tastes when it’s pressed up against tart cherries encased in a sweet, sticky sauce. You also giggle when someone mentions pie because you listened to too much Warrant and wanted to sample the People’s Strudel. You’re straightforward, yet complex. Just like this classic pie.

Pecan Pie

You love Thanksgiving and you’re not ashamed to admit it. In fact, you’re so unashamed of your love for Thanksgiving that you’re more than willing to tell your dentist that the reason your temporary crown broke for the third time in six weeks is because you managed to get your hands on a pecan pie not only for your birthday, but also for Thanksgiving. Black Friday visits to the dentist are so fun. Wait. What was I talking about again?

Rhubarb Pie

You’ve been lost in the wilderness for 16 years and are trying to readjust to society. As someone who has been in society for the last 16 years, I can promise you’re better off not knowing what’s going on out here.

Lemon Meringue Pie

On the outside, you’ve got a bubbly, airy personality. People want to be you because you look like you have the most glamorous life. On the inside, you’re a mess of all the ingredients that went into making your what you are today — and you’re not sure if the sum of all the parts is better than the ingredients by themselves. On the plus side, you’re awesome at making small children cry.

Apple Pie

You’re an American and you love your country. You want nothing more than baseball, Coca-Cola, and a hot dog after a long day at the business factory. Like America, your pie could be improved by being Dutch. And even if you know there could be better alternatives out there to your hobbies or favorite pie, you stick with what you know. Because you dislike change. And the Dutch.

Pumpkin Pie

Your favorite pie is Cool Whip.

Banana Cream Pie

You’re health conscious, but you love to indulge from time to time. You want to find the best of both worlds between taste and restraint. You want to integrate more fruit into your diet, but you hate the texture of berries and the smell of citrus fruit. You own stock in Nilla Wafers and loved Bananas in Pajamas. Above all, you’re confused why some pies have top crusts.

Key Lime Pie

You like your coffee black, your chili spicy, and your beer ice cold. If food could punch you in the face, you’d welcome it with open arms, then suplex it the fuck over your head for trying. One day, you plan to retire to a small fishing village in Spain where you can harpoon your own octopus for breakfast. You’re also very confused why anyone would waste a lime on tequila when there’s pie to make.

Pot Pie

You’re not a fan of sweet food, but are smart enough to know rhubarb tastes like a leather sandal in a slimy mud puddle feels. You may have your preferences to filling — be it chicken, turkey, veggies, or beef — but you just want the sugar kept as far away as possible. You think a tomato is a vegetable and will politely debate anyone who thinks otherwise. Your middle child is named Gravy.

Empanadas

You like pie but don’t own a fork or spoon. Either that or the business factory made your life very stressful and you have to eat your lunch at your desk. I should really look into getting some empanadas for work.

Peach Pie

You love everything about peaches except for the fuzzy outer skin. At birthday parties, you’re the person who walks up to the magician after their show and tries to show them your magic tricks. You have a Super Mario Brothers fetish, but only a little bit. Your iPhone actively suggests the peach emoji to you when you type butt.

W(h)oopie Pie

You don’t understand what pie is. Please reload your page and try again6To those unfamiliar with woopie pie, it’s essentially two pieces of cake and some icing or marshmallow fluff made into a sandwich. It’s a cake..

Moravian Chicken Pie

While your brother/sister/cousin named their middle child Gravy, you were busy going to culinary school and getting your degree in saucery. You don’t think of gravy as a topping for mashed potatoes, but an art form meant to be shared with all of humanity. You’re likely from North Carolina and have never left the state. Colonel Sanders once sued your grandmother.

Flan

Okay…that’s neither a pie nor a tart…but it’s part of the same pastry family. So…sure. Why not. Flan’s delicious. Your blood alcohol content is 65% caramel color. House eggings upset you because it’s a waste of good food. You spent one semester in Spain and now all of your friends want to kill you in your sleep because you keep pronouncing Zaragoza with a ‘th’ in it.

Pi

Okay, smart ass.

Pinkie Pie

I mean, probably best pony7The Great and Powerful Trixie is also an acceptable answer here.. But not pie.

Pizza Pie

Again, not a pie.

Cookie Cake Pie

Now you’re just listing three desserts in a row to see if I’ll buy it8This is actually a pie. I’m just as shocked as you are. But I’ve never had it, so I can’t comment..

Cheesecake

No. Wait…actually, that is a tart, so that works. You consider yourself to be so adventurous, but have bought the same brand of white bread for 37 years. You’re really into telling people that you’re Taurus-Gemini Cusp any time the month of May comes up in conversation. Your favorite alcohol is rubbing and your favorite dehumidifier setting is Sahara. The best way to eat ice cream to you is to pick all of the chunks out and to leave the creamy parts in the carton for everyone else.

Chess Pie

How are you even reading this? Your favorite pie is literally baked sugar and butter. Don’t get me wrong, it’s amazing. But you can only have one piece every ten years or you’ll go into a coma. Chess pie is a family event because feeding one pie to your entire extended family is the only way to avoid mass casualties. The bottle of corn syrup you’re hallucinating is telling you to chill the fuck out with the sugar.

Blueberry Pie

You’re just happy to be included.

My Favorite Pokemon of Each Type

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve posted on here. I’ve got a few longer posts I’ve been working on that aren’t quite ready to go up (including a continuation of a previous short story), but I wanted to have something up on the blog, as I won’t have a ton of other content going up other places for a little while.

A couple of months ago, I did a post about what the Pokemon League would be like if I were Pokemon champion. The post itself was a fun exercise, though it didn’t quite flow as well as I wanted to. As such, I wanted to take another crack at writing a Pokemon post, this time sharing my favorite Pokemon of each type.

Like my previous Pokemon post, this one too was inspired by a Poketube video, this one by TamashiiHiroka where she covers the same topic as I’ll be doing in this post.

As Tamashii mentioned she would do, I will not reuse any Pokemon on my list even if they’re dual type. For example, if Pidgey was my favorite both Normal and Flying type1It’s not. Pidgey is garbage., I’d only use it once on the list, so as to make this list as diverse as possible. Additionally, you may find that my list is biased to early gens (I-III) and Sun/Moon, as I’ve only played Gen IV (Diamond/Pearl) once and haven’t played Gens V or VI at all. With that said, since some of those Pokemon do resurface in Sun/Moon, they may show up here. All images are courtesy Bulbapedia.

Normal – Porygon-Z

Leading off, we have a Gen I Pokemon’s end stage evolution that I didn’t care about at all until playing Pokemon Moon. I’ve never found the Porygon line to be particularly useful Pokemon, despite having one of my favorite designs in the game. Then Z-moves happened, meaning Porygon-Z’s conversion changes Porygon-Z’s type to whatever the first move in its move set is. It’s a great shock and surprise strategy, particularly when I can go in with an Ice type Porygon-Z one battle and a Steel type the next.

Apologies to: Persian, Jigglypuff

Fire – Chandelure

I didn’t carry a single Fire type Pokemon on my end game team until Pokemon Moon. I didn’t see the appeal to them. Everything they could do, Ground Pokemon could do better. And then Chandelure came along. Despite its silly design, Chandelure was an indispensable member of my first Pokemon Moon run through, as its combination of Will-o-Wisp, Hex, Shadow Ball, and Flame Charge made it hard to take down and even harder to out speed.

Apologies to: Vulpix, Blaziken, Litten

Fighting – Hitmonchan

This was one of the only two Pokemon types I immediately knew my answer to who my favorite was. Yes, Hitmonchan was inferior to Hitmonlee in the original games. But I loved the unpredictability of the elemental punches. In later gens, you can combine these punches with moves like Vacuum Wave and Close Combat to make Hitmonchan an adept fighter. It’s not the best fighter, but it’s definitely my favorite.

Apologies to: Hariyama, Poliwrath

Water – Cloyster

This was definitely the hardest choice on my list, as I’ve always tended to use teams heavy in Water, Ice, and Psychic Pokemon. The Cloyster line was one of only two Pokemon in Gen I2Sorry, Vaporeon learning it in Pokemon Yellow doesn’t count. Pokemon Yellow barely counts as Gen I. Yellow is more a love letter to the anime than it is a Gen I game. to learn my favorite Ice move, Aurora Beam. Because of its statistical superiority to Dewgong, I found myself using Cloyster far more frequently. Plus Cloyster is one of the most menacing looking Water type Pokemon, not to mention a hard one to kill at that.

Apologies to: Vaporeon, Dewgong, Lapras, Whiscash

Flying – Fearow

I don’t think there’s a single time where I played through Pokemon Red, Blue, or Yellow where I didn’t have Fearow on my team for the majority of the game. Since I knew Gary/Blue/Whatever you want to call him carried a Pidgeot, I felt like repeating his Pokemon at the end would be pointless. Enter the high-speed Drill Peck machine, Fearow. He looks goofy as fuck, but Dodrio couldn’t match up moveset-wise, and the legendary birds join too late in the game for me to consider replacing Fearow. For that, Fearow holds a special place in my heart. Only one other Flying type is on the same level as Fearow in my mind…but it shows up later in this list.

Apologies to: Articuno, Drifloon, Dodrio

Grass – Oddish

You want a cute Grass Pokemon? Oddish is your bulb. I don’t think I’ve used the Oddish line as my main grass type in any game playthrough3If I needed a Cut Pokemon, I generally carried around Sandslash. If I really wanted to play with a Grass type, I either took the Grass starter or caught a Bellsprout., but there’s a lot to love about Oddish (at least until it grows up into Gloom). First off, it’s adorable in the anime. Second, it learns a useful moveset that prevents you from needing to stick with Butterfree until mid-game. Third, it has the highest catch rate of any Pokemon other than Magikarp in Pokemon Go, which means stardust for days. Finally, most Grass Pokemon aren’t that great, meaning I’m inclined to replace them with something else anyway. Might as well have one that amuses you — and for me, that’s Oddish.

Apologies to: Tsareena, Exeggutor, Abomasnow

Poison – Toxapex

Like Grass above, I really don’t use that many Poison types in my teams. In early games, they weren’t strong against much of anything, plus most Poison types didn’t have great movesets. They either relied on gimmicks (Weezing’s Explosion/Self-Destruct, Muk’s Minimize) or had terrible stats (Hi, Beedrill). Toxapex, while hard to acquire in Pokemon Sun/Moon, is a legit tank. It’s not quite a god-tier Pokemon, but it’s a dangerous Pokemon in the right hands thanks to its giant defense/special defense stats. Think Shuckle, only cute.

Apologies to: Alolan Muk

Electric – Jolteon

Electric Pokemon are, in my mind, useful, but not likable. Want a badass looking Electric type? Sorry. Since Pikachu exists, everything has to be an attempt at adorable (Minun, Plusle, Emolga, Dedenne, Togedemaru) or so stupid looking you won’t want to use it (Eelektross, Electivire, Luxray, Electrode). If you want a non-legendary Electric type from what’s left, you’re limited to Jolteon, Zebstrika, Mega Ampharos, and Magnezone. I’ll take Jolteon out of that group any day.

Apologies to: Magnezone, Zapdos, Ampharos, Rotom…but only as the Sun/Moon Pokedex

Ground – Quagsire

Look at that face. Look at it.

Apologies to: Dugtrio, Whiscash (again), Zygarde

Psychic – Jynx

Remember that whole thing about liking to carry Ice and Psychic types on my teams? I was a big fan of Jynx in the early games despite its terrible move pool. I mean, she’s serviceable in later games, but outside of Blizzard, if you wanted Jynx to have a good moveset in Gen I, you had to feed her TMs. I carried either Jynx or Hypno as my Psychic in Gen I about 95% of the time. It’s close, but considering my preference to typing over move pool, Jynx wins narrowly.

Apologies to: Hypno, Gardevoir, Slowpoke

Rock – Sudowoodo

Sudowoodo is not a good Pokemon. At all. There are many better Rock types in all of the Pokemon games than Sudowoodo. That said, there isn’t a single Pokemon that you meet in the wild in a more unique fashion than the fake tree Pokemon. After all, you’ve been primed through Gen I and Gen II that you can cut down any small tree in your path. But then…surprise!…it’s a Pokemon encounter a la Snorlax. Sudowoodo wins this category based on impact made on me from the game alone.

Apologies to: Kabutops, Shuckle, Rhydon

Ice – Alolan Vulpix

Though Chandelure was my favorite Fire type, I always found Vulpix to be the best looking Fire type. Brock’s Vulpix was my favorite non-Team Rocket Pokemon in the anime, but I never found good reason to use Vulpix/Ninetales in the early games. Then Sun/Moon came out and we get a Vulpix as an Ice type. I’m sold.

Apologies to: Lapras (again), Dewgong (again), Froslass

Bug – Parasect

Almost all Bug Pokemon are useless. And then there’s Parasect in Gen I. Don’t have a Pokemon that can out-speed Sabrina’s Alakazam? Get a Parasect, teach it Spore and Leech Life, then proceed to curbstomp the hardest gym leader in the game like she’s the fisherman with six Magikarp. Parasect is a super situational Pokemon and largely useless in the rest of the game. But it’s super broken in one specific battle.

Apologies to: Vikavolt, Scizor

Dragon – Alolan Exeggutor

Before Sun/Moon, I don’t think I used a Dragon Pokemon in an end game team. In my first playthrough of Moon, however, I had two (Kingdra and Alolan Exeggutor). Blame the fact that Dragon moves were terrible in Gen I. I really don’t have strong feelings about this category as a result, so I took the Pokemon I thought had a better design over the one that I used slightly more.

Apologies to: Kingdra, Drampa

Ghost – Mismagius

Outside of Jigglypuff, King troll of Super Smash Brothers, I don’t thing there is a Pokemon more fun to mess with people with than Mismagius. Did your opponent use Protect? You’ve got Phantom Force. Did your opponent Minimize to death? Magical Leaf. Playing doubles and your other Pokemon is obscenely slow like Snorlax? Trick Room. Dark Pokemon giving you trouble? Dazzling Gleam them to death. Mismagius is super fun…and that’s without getting into the Pain Split/Perish Song variants.

Apologies to: Froslass (again), Sableye, Jellicent

Dark – Umbreon

Unlike the type following this one (Steel), Dark has a lot of Pokemon I like. I’ve used quite a few Dark types in-game playthroughs, not to mention many of them have really cool designs. But as a fan of the Eevee line, Umbreon stands out. It’s not my favorite Eeveelution (Vaporeon), it’s not the one I’ve used the most in games (Jolteon), and it’s not even the best designed one (Sylveon). But it is my favorite Pokemon within its type — not to mention a useful one to boot.

Apologies to: Houndoom, Weaville, Alolan Muk (again), Krookodile

Steel – Skarmory

The only other Flying type I liked using in Gen I and Gen II was Skarmory. It looks goofy at best. But I’ll be damned if I didn’t find it useful in the game. Steel typing was surprisingly powerful in Gen II, so Skarmory made sense to use in many cases. While it’s not one of my favorite Pokemon, in a type otherwise filled with Pokemon I don’t care strongly about4Yet I oddly don’t hate any Steel type. It’s just…meh?, Skarmory wins.

Apologies to: Magnezone (again)

Fairy – Primarina

By taking Alolan Vulpix under Ice type, it meant Alolan Ninetales couldn’t appear here. Essentially, this became a coinflip between Primarina and Jigglypuff. Primarina is a far more useful and powerful Pokemon, but Jigglypuff is the master of the Poketrolls. This list may change when I do my next playthrough of Sun/Moon and use a different starter, allowing me to use a different Fairy type in the team. But for now, the opera seal gets the win.

Apologies to: Jigglypuff, Sylveon, Mimikyu

Lists Full of Favorites

It’s 2017. That means the seemingly neverending global shitshow that was 2016 has finally come to an end. Granted, there’s a lot that 2016 did to mess up 2017 (and beyond) for a lot of people, but hopefully we can work together as a society to ensure that people who deserve rights (read: everyone) receives them accordingly.

Whenever I take a day off from work, I leave a paper letter on the door of my office. While I’m not a big fan of printing things out[1], it’s a tradition that started almost three years ago, so I keep it alive. While the letters started out as completely serious, work-related instructions, they’ve since morphed into a hybrid of that and a place where I just ramble because I can.

More often than not, those letters also includes lists of various things. Usually, these lists are totally random, but sometimes they’re lists of my favorite things of some type or another. There likely won’t be a ton of context in these lists. After all, I’m giving you multiple of these lists at once while on my office door there’s one at a time. If there’s enough caring in the comments/via Twitter, I’ll go back and add context later.

Ten Most Underrated Songs of all Time

10. Bayside – The Walking Wounded
9. Flobots – Panacea for the Poison
8. The Lonely Island – Spring Break Anthem
7. Mumford and Sons – Thistle and Weeds
6. Sia – Chandelier
5. Louis Prima – Sing, Sing, Sing
4. Ram Jam – Black Betty
3. Gwen Stefani – Rich Girl
2. Rise Against – Re-Education (Through Labor)
1. Straylight Run – Hands in the Sky (Big Shot)

Ten Favorite Video Games of all Time

10. Tropico (2001)
9. Madden 96 (1995)
8. Mirror’s Edge (2008)
7. Rogue Trip: Vacation 2012 (1998)
6. Catherine (2011)
5. Super Smash Bros 4 (2014)
4. Brave Frontier (2013)
3. Pokemon FireRed & LeafGreen (2004)
2. Civilization V (2010)
1. Fire Emblem: Awakening (2012)

Ten Favorite End-Stage Gen I Pokemon Evolutions

10. Starmie
9. Blastoise
8. Alakazam
7. Victreebel
6. Jolteon
5. Fearow
4. Cloyster
3. Hypno
2. Dewgong
1. Vaporeon

 

The Ten Best Movie Turns Ever

Warning: Spoilers ahead for movies that are mostly at least two years old. And one that just came out. Also, stop being concerned about spoilers. Knowing what’s going to happen makes the movie more enjoyable.

Over the Thanksgiving weekend, I went with my wife and in-laws to see Inferno. While I haven’t read the Dan Brown book by the same name, my wife and father-in-law were both very excited as they enjoy Dan Brown’s writing. I’m always up for seeing Tom Hanks in a film, so I had pretty high hopes. While the ending of the movie and the book apparently weren’t even close, there was one moment in the film that caught my attention.

Late in the film, as Hanks and Felicity Jones are running away from a bad guy who seems to be hellbent on stopping them from saving the world from an outbreak of a deadly disease, they find themselves climbing out of a basement of a building and onto street level. Jones pays a street merchant to let her out of the basement, but then double-crosses Hanks and slams the grating shut, allowing Hanks to be captured.

Film twists rarely catch me off guard, however this Face-Heel Turn was beautifully executed. While I’ve seen Inferno too recently to place it on this list[1], I was inspired to write about the ten best movie turns I’ve ever seen. These turns can be of the Face-Heel variety like Felicity Jones in Inferno, or they can be a Heel-Face version, wherein a bad guy becomes a good guy. That said, here’s my top ten.

10. Nina Sayers (Natalie Portman) in Black Swan

This isn’t a turn in the truest sense, particularly once you realize Sayer’s attempted murder is actually an attempted suicide. But the fact that she goes from this demure, sweet character at the beginning of the film to an unhinged and violent character at the end as she descends into madness is wonderfully written.

9. Emily Taylor (Rooney Mara) in Side Effects

While I really enjoyed Side Effects, I had a hard time debating between whether Mara’s character or Catherine Zeta-Jones’ character deserved the spot on the list. While Zeta-Jones’ character’s turn is more surprising, the fact that Emily Taylor is faking a mental illness to get away with murder is truly despicable…and really well-written.

8. Felonious Gru in Despicable Me

The first bad guy to good guy turn on this list features a movie that spawned a ton of characters that the majority of the internet hates. But Gru — the main character of the Despicable Me series before Pixar decided that minions were made of money — goes through a tale of super-villain becomes family man. Okay, it’s not all that common, but it’s touching all the same.

7. Fletcher Reed (Jim Carrey) in Liar Liar

As much as I love Jim Carrey when he does serious roles, I still enjoy a good Carrey comedy every now and again. What makes Fletcher Reed’s turn from a crappy father and skeezy businessman into a good father and husband great is that it’s so relatable despite being unrealistic. Everyone tries to make their own lives better and fix their mistakes in some way, and Reed is able to do so. It’s formulaic, but it works.

6. Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams) in The Empire Strikes Back

This won’t be the only appearance by a Star Wars film on this list. You KNOW it’s coming. You know Lando is going to backstab Han Solo. And yet, it has to happen and is written perfectly to boot. Lando eventually turns back into being a good guy, which feels forced, particularly when his backstabbing was just business. But sometimes business is evil.

5. Arthur (Michael Caine) in Kingsman: The Secret Service

Michael Caine has spent an inordinate amount of time in the 2010s playing evil guys named Arthur. But what makes this turn beautiful is the respect that all of the other Kingsmen have for him as their leader. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, which means we should have seen this turn coming. But you’re still caught off guard more by his turn to the dark side than by his death a few minutes later.

4. Dylan Rhodes (Mark Ruffalo) in Now You See Me

Can we all pretend Now You See Me 2 didn’t happen? Thanks.

While Rhodes isn’t a particularly unlikable character, the fact that for the majority of the movie he’s chasing the main protagonists of the film, only to reveal that he’s actually been helping orchestrate their plan the whole time is a pretty cool twist. The only reason that this turn doesn’t rank higher is because of how convoluted the whole twist is. I mean NO ONE at the FBI realized he was working with the Four Horsemen? Seriously?

3. Miranda Frost (Rosamund Pike) in Die Another Day

One of the worst Bond films of all time had one of the best evil characters of the series. Too bad she was relegated to second fiddle as Gustav Graves[2]‘ personal assistant. Frost was a chameleon throughout the film, making herself fit in to whatever situation she was in. You could make a strong argument that Frost when from villain to protagonist and back again at least twice in the film. It’s too bad she dies in the end. Frost would have been a great main villain in a sequel.

2. The Grinch in How The Grinch Stole Christmas

While entries 3 through 10 on this list could be debated, particularly in terms of their order and movie preferences, I think you’d be hard pressed to find any list of great changes in movie characters that doesn’t include my top two entries. The change in The Grinch is so drastic that his heart literally grows three sizes. I get that this was originally a book, but the film adaptations of the book — both animated and not — sell the change in The Grinch just as well, if not better, than Seuss’s original classic.

1. Darth Vader (James Earl Jones) in Return of the Jedi

One of the most evil villains in movie history kills his boss to save his son just before he suffers his own death. Is there really any other turn capable of being number one? I think not.